Bad newz

Hello every cat. I am afraid that things have been topsy turvy at our house, and as the Minister of Security, it is almost assuredly my fault.

Here is the portrait that begat the downward spiral. That is my Lady Love, Kellie the Orange Cat that you see wearing that wonderful birthday lei. BIRTHDAY would be the definitive word here.

Yes, Dr Tweety knew it was Dante's birthday, but he NEGLECTED to fill me or the typist in that Kellie was turning 7. Have you noticed that Dr Tweety has been absent ALL week?

Well, allright, I admit there was a rather teeny problem with the typist, aka Mommy. She has been incognito... and has informed us that the blog may be on hold for awhile.

WHAT???!!!! Obviously, it was time for me to take matters into my own paws. Now how do you turn this infernal contraption on?

Ahha! The mouse thing... (Beats me why they call it a mouse. Looks nothing like it to me.) Why is it that...

Heavens to Betsy!!!! "Tweet!!!! Tweet!!! Be careful... don't, no...

aaaargh!

Get away! Quickly... don't go near the blasted beast!
It's a horrible vicious vegan deer!"

Leapin' jackrabbits! It's an entire herd of horrible deer! " Daddy! Iris! Delilah!"

(Auntie Stinkie is having a date with Bounce... so I won't bother her.)

Quick! hup, two, three! To the front! Every cat!

Oh this is disastrous. I have lost my brother. He's no where to be seen, and those ghastly animals may have spirited him away. What will Mini say? What will his friends do? And what will bad Mommy do with out her alter ego?

I've got to take Kellie to San Francisco this weekend. How could I possibly go if the vicious deers are on the prowl? And where is Tweet? And where is Mommy?

Maximillian: "Iris!!! Quick! Start searching the woods for those deer. I'm sure they had something to do with this."

Iris: "I'm looking already! I am an expert huntress and I can trail anything. But all I see is deer poop!"

Delilah: "I think I'm going to cry!"

Maximillian: "It's going to fine 'Lilah. See? Even Daddy is searching for Tweet. He has to be somewhere close by!"

Delilah: "Well I don't think so! Where is he? What if he doesn't come back and we never get to blog again?"

Maximillian: "This is something to be pondered Delilah. We can't be rash. I think Tweet was so embarrassed by Mommy's lack of blogging help (And Kellie's birthday) that he decided to live at Mini's for the summer.

"I just hope he returns in enough time to see me off to San Francisco!"

Unbullleevaa-bull!!

Az you can see, I waz all set to talks abouts anudder egg-citin' day huntin' gopher snakes, drinkin' birdie bath nip tea, & justee gettin' all brushied up & reddy fur Gree & Othello'z
weddin' on Satur-day.

I waz gonna wearz a nice Hay-whinin' shirt & takes da loverly Mini on my paw.... BUT OH NO! Da momee iz goin' outta town at 4:30 a.m. Fry-day & will nots be back until Sun-day LATE.

Az usual, I yam left high & dry.

Below iz da loverly Gree... & she iz gonna gets married to Mr Othello. She looks ALOT likes Delilah... don'ts you tink?

Not only are we missin' anudder big weddin, my brudder da 'nip runner Maximillian iz gonna has to go by himself witout a typist to a big Birfday partee wit Kellie da Orange Cat tomorrow. Mr Dante iz havfun a number 3. Birfday. Way to go Dante!


Poor Kellie... MAxi PROMISED her dats he would escort her. We are gonna has to haz a BIG talk wit da momee when she getsez back. We mights has to fire her butt az a typist once & for all!

Aloha all kitteez! Congrats to Gree & Othello!

Summer (almostee) silleez at da Fab Five

Da momee (aka, da typist) haz been furry unhelpful. Its alwayz da same egg-scuse: "Oh Tweet! Of course I care what your friends think.. of course I want to help you sweetie, but this is the time of year when dad and I are in the garden every waking moment that we're not at work. So how do we fit it all in?"

Oh pulleeze! Az if in my 8 yearzez I hazzunt heard dis before! Can't she at leastiez come up wit sumpin' new?

Well, I doez dye-grass... so here'z what da Fab Five iz up to while da momee & da dadee iz so durn "bizzy":

Delilah lepted offa da birdie fountain

I con-teemplated a tuna pick-nick wit my sweetie da Mini

Da Auntie Stinkie & I discussed dat we needz to putz a firecracker under da momeez butt to cleanz up da porchee fur our big 'nip partee.

Iris & Delilah gotted dere nap interrupted by da momee who waz gonna finully cleanz up da porchee. (Ohh my... crankee kitteez!)

Delilah thought she would show off her fence jumpin' skillzez to her sweetie Angus.

Da Auntie Stinkie sez dat although she cannots see anyting, she iz enjoyin' da herbz & her walks wit Mr Bounce.

Delilah & meez iz tryin' outs our new 'nip tea in da birdie bath... we tinks dat da cats dat comez to da 'nip partee mights like to haz a new way to indulge.

Den we hadz dis snake comez into da livin' room. Da momee waz screeechin' so bad I hadz to runz outta da housee.

In factee, I wents right back out & had some more 'nip tea outta da fountain' ting!

Den Delilah thought she wouldz makes a pet outta dat snake.
She waz watchin' it furry carefully to see if it wanted some kibbullz.

Den Delilah thought she would doez her part to save on da momeez & dadeez green paperz... so she went greenie & tried out a hybrid car. It fits her justee fine she sez... &, it getsez 66,ooo sqwillion milezez to da gallon!!!

Den I thoughts I better gets caught up wit da latest issue of Saveur & da new summertime pasta recipeez. Mebbe a itty bitty bit of 'nip pesto?

Den my brudder Maximillian thought he should poze fur a glam puss shot fur hiz lady love Kellie. Okeedokee Max.. we seez what a hansome guy you reely iz.

& dere you haz it... summer fun at da Fab Five!!!

Trickin' da tricky

Dr Tweety: Dere haz been treezon on da highest seaz... so I iz gonna let my brudder Maximillian da Mad Burr-man tellz da storee.

Maximillian: Thank you Tweet. As evidenced by the photo below, pirates have been patrolling the waters outside the Burmese Council offices. They have been hijacking boats, rafts, and yes, even freighters. What are they after??? I'll give you two guesses. NIP! And again, NIP!

As many of you are aware, I was ready to set sail on The Maximillian Catnip Express, when I got wind of an evil plan by these despicable pirates.

I simply unloaded the 679,000 tons of nip to my second freighter, and set the Express I off to the high seas as a decoy. When those dastardly pirates boarded her not 20 minutes later, the ship was empty, and no crew were to be seen. That is because I, Maximillian the Clever, had an alternate plan!

See that freighter below? She is my foil, and off she is sailing for the good old US of A.

So I ask of ye: Who is the pirate now?
Bwah-ha-ha-hah!!!!
Nip for everyone!
On its way!!!!

Dr Tweety: Well, if I figgure dis out co-rectally, I wouldz say dat my brudder iz now not only a mad Burr-man, he iz also a meggo-low-maynee-ack!

Furry Fighter Friday

We ask fur da wingz of angelz to welcome her home.
Stormie

Maximillian iz reekin' havock in Burr-maw!

Maximillian: For some time now, I have been delayed by the Burmese Security Forces out at the "Farm."

In order to allay suspicion, I have been instructed to demonstrate that we are actually growing figs.
Can you see the figs above my head?
These are not your ordinary figs. Oh no. They are much, MUCH, more.

General Mi-Chin has even gone so far as to plant decoy corn.
Since corn is the plant du jour for biofuels, this will be an easy way to distract the border guards.
You can see the corn in the photo below.
This corn is not your ordinary corn, oh no, it is so much, much, MUCH more.

Yee gads! Enough of figs and corn! It is past time for me to depart for the harbor. The freighter will be nearly set to sail! I cannot disappoint my friends and loved ones back home. (Especially the lovely Kellie!)

Whew! I guess I misjudged the acreage in this hamlet. I better hurry. Hurry, hurry, scurry, scurry! Crikees! Sounds like mice or something. Mice???? Did someone just say MICE????

(Dr Tweety interjects: Oh fur crime-ninnieez sakes! My brudder cannots keep hiz eyez on da prize! "Get it togedder you crazee Burr-man!")

Maximillian: There really is a light at the end of the tunnel! I'm pretty certain I see the ship.


"Doctor" Tweety, you think I cannot hear those snide asides?

I see the freighter! Really! Ummm... at least I think I do.

General? Did you happen to notice a modest boat parked down at the club? The one that weighs in the 'general' vicinity of say, 65,000 millions of tonnage?

Egads! If the General is going to delay my trip until the freighter passes inspection, the "onlee reazonabull ting to do" will be to sample a small portion of the goods.


Ahhhh, this is more like it!

Dr Tweety: Oh I justee cannots beleevz it! He iz dat close to gettin' da ship-mint home & what doez he doez? He layz down on da jobby!

Frum Tigger our artisteek frend!

Tigger didz dis pic of moi & sez dat it iz now hangin' in da Astral-alien National Galluree! Holy Periwinkle! Tanks Tigger!

We gots an award!!!

Our palz at Jan's Funny Farm, shared dis egg-citin' award wit us!!!! We iz furry happee!!!

I haz decidud to share dis wit my palz Henry Helton ('cuz hiz momee went away wit da Senor, & brotted home a speccymint of a ((sorry Titus & Asta & Travis!!)) But dis ting cannots reely be a woofie!) D-A-W-G... at leastee it iz suppozed to be a D-A-W-G... you gotta go see it!

& denz I tink dat Sunny's Momeee should haz a award, cuz dey haz such outstandin' pix, & den, since I cannots givez it to da whole pile of my frendzez at once (hmmmmm... or could I?), I will pass dis on to Mr Bounce, 'cuz da Auntie Stinkie mights be upset wit me & whaps me if I didn't!!!

Pleeze stay tuned fur da latest in da 'nip ad-venture!!
I tinks dat my brudder may haz devized a plan to gets dis latest load through da Puget Sound. I yam keepin' my furry toezez crossed! & I bets Kellie da Orange Cat will be reel glad when her boyfriend gets back home.

It's almostee herez!!!

Iris: "Dr Tweety!!! Dr Tweety!!! I think I see him!!! Quick!!"

Dr Tweety: "Where Iris? I sure don'ts see him!"

Iris: "Oh darn, I was sure I spotted him!"

Dr Tweety: "Well fur heavenz sakee! I waz countin' on you bein' da lookout!"

Iris: "Well I can't be right all of the time Doc!"

Dr Tweety: "& justee how iz we supposzed to haz a nip partee fur da Bloggo-spear if da mad Bad Burr-man duzzn't showz up wit da goodz?"

Iris: "Well, I can always entertain the guests with my balance beam act... after all, I did make the Olympic trials."

Iris: "And it doesn't hurt to have a secret stash squirreled away either!" {{{smiles}}}