Monday, April 28, 2008

It's almost here!

I yam plum tuckered! Dere haz been so muuch goin' on & da momee iz worn to a frazzull. We iz gonna be a itty bitty slow wit da bloggin' dis week... & we has to restee up, cuz a furry speshull day iz arrivun.

Da Auntie Stinkie iz gonna be Sweet 16!!!
Her birf-day iz May 1st.

I hear dat it iz Gretchen'z birf-day too. Gretchen iz havin' a BIG tea party & you will ALL has to go vizit her fur sure.

We iz gonna lay low, & den mebbe haz a quiet birf-day... but I yam sure dat all da senior cats will vizit Auntie Stinkie & dey will haz a digneefired time.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Maximillian's Burmese Journal revealed

Journal of Burmese Security Council Officer, Maximillian Rangoon Ashley MacGregor, on recent activities related to General Ang Grrrr’s Office:

April 1, 2008

Arrived in Burma via private cargo plane. Food depressing and dismal. No shrimp, no tuna, only squid and rice. I guess I should have been a little nicer to Dr Tweety. Maybe he would have packed a cooler full of tuna steaks. At least I have Kellie’s latest scented love note tucked into my rucksack. This is going to be a tough trip.

April 10, 2008

I hear from Mommy that the weather is foul and gloomy. Nothing but rain, rain, rain in Oregon. She should be happy that she doesn’t have to sleep in a fur coat while suffering 98% humidity and 96 degree heat. Today will be very trying. I have a long meeting with General Ang Grrr, and am expected to provide sensitive security information regarding the presidential candidates in both of our countries. The General was quite surprised to learn that a cat is running for president in the states. I have never seen him meowless before.

April 14, 2008

Well, tomorrow is Dr Tweety’s birthday. Apparently there will be a large party at our house with all of the cats from the Blogosphere showing up in near riot numbers. This concerns me since I am so far away from home and cannot supervise. The last time there was a party while I was absent, the house was a complete shambles and cats were sleeping everywhere including the counters, the beds, the sofa, the table, the chairs and even in the tub. Unacceptable behavior! I must get a telegram to Dr Tweety immediately.

April 17, 2008

Today is Delilah’s birthday, and all my fears have come to pass. The Fab Five are running amok. Delilah is up on the roof, and Dr Tweety is making a mess in mommy’s kitchen by converting it into his Itty Bitty Café. General Ang Grrr has told me that if I do not find a constructive way to handle my stress level, he will tell the chief medical officer to prescribe a sedative! I have sent Kellie my love another telegram. I hope that she will wait for me. This separation at times is unbearable.

April 23, 2008

I am going home! General Ang Grrr has granted me leave… he calls it a “mental health holiday.” I must pack a suitcase immediately since the flight leaves in less than three hours.

I want to bring back some spices for mommy, but I bet you cilantro to curry that Dr Tweety will appropriate them for his café. I am going to attempt civility when I arrive, because I really have missed everyone so much. Work is tough on a man cat. Sometimes I think about retirement, but right now, it is not possible. The General has conscripted me to a four-year service agreement with the CIA. I am caught in the middle of two worlds. At least I have mommy and daddy and Kellie to make it bearable. Oregon, here I come!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Maximillian iz baaaaack!

Well, we gots a tellygram lastee night dat my brudder da mad bad Burr-man waz on hiz way home from Burma. Da gurlz all wanted to waits on da front porch fur him, so I went along to watchez out fur dem. (You can see dat I yam hopelessly egg-sited about da prospect of hiz homecomin.')

Dr Tweety: "Forgeddaboutit Iris... I yam not gettin' up!"

Delilah: "Oh look! I think I see his ship in the harbor!"

"Mommy!!! Mommy!! It's Maximillian... he's home from Burma!"

Maximillian: "Yes, it is I. I am finally back in one piece after a particularly harrowing journey. I must dust myself off, and unpack. After all, the beautiful Kellie will be anxiously waiting to hear from me."

Dr Tweety: " You big lummox! You missed da openin' of da Itty Bitty Cafe'!"

Maximillian: "Tweet! Just stop the egotistical nonsense right here! I don't want to hear about the Itty Bitty Cafe' this and the Itty Bitty Cafe' that. So what if all the cats of the Blogosphere showed up? I'm pooped and grumpus and in need of a bath."

Maximillian: "Oh hi daddy! It sure is good to see you. Are you thinking about what things to plant in the garden this year? You should have see the gardens in Burma! They had statues and everything."

Dr Tweety: "Oh sure, try & gets on da dadeez good side da minuet you're back!"

Delilah: "Look Maximillian!!! Kellie sent you roses!"

Maximillian: "I really need to have a nap. The exhaustion of 4 time zones, dreams of Kellie, and the fragrant flowers have overwhelmed my senses."

Dr Tweety: "Y'know dont you, dat now we goez back to da same old grind? Growl & hiss, hiss & growl, wit da occashunall whap & miss. Mebbe we justee oughtta all try to gets along here."

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Word-less wonder... yikes!

Adding a word: Da momee tinks dis iz a Photoshop gag.

What in crime-ninniez sake were dey tinkin'?

Monday, April 21, 2008

Fait accomp(hic!)li

Tanks to all da cats of da Bloggo-spear dat madez da Grand Openin' of da Itty Bitty Cafe' a huge suxsess! Here iz moi in da aftermath. I yam afreared I cannots move.

Here iz da moral of da storee... if you haz one too many tripull niptiniz, you justee stayz where you layz.

&, you may evfun deevellup a nuke-clee-error kind of glow.

Iris? Quit purrin' so loud will ya?

It iz bestee to cling to da arm of da chair & do nots move a singull muskull.

Of coursee, when da urge to run to da litter box iz stronger den da head-rake, your sissie can be counted on to get you movin' wit a good whap!

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Come on in.. I yam open fur bizzy-ness!

I hope evfurry cat iz comfy & haz found a place to sit. It iz a itty bitty crowdud in here, but dat iz understandabull... it iz after all, da Itty Bitty Cafe'. (You can see da oevfur all deezine if youse scrollz down to da nextee post)

I baked some nip cookiez in da shapes of D-A-W-Gz. Deze are LOADED wit nip... so goez EZ on 'em if you wants to get back home to your housee & not get busted!

Miss Peach suggested dats I do some venison steaks wit nip fur my frendz wit allergeez... Okeedokee! I whipped some up. Dere iz no shortage of vishus vegan deerzez in dis neck of da woodz.

Den fur my meezer palzez, espeshully Milez & Sammy & Chey, I haz roasted a 76 pound ham. Mebbe dere will be a itty bitty bit left oevfur fur da rest of us, but I wouldn't count on it.

Az alwayz, I yam pourin' triple niptiniz. Now listen up you youngsterz under da age of two: You will nots be allowed in da bar witout snoopervision. So don't evfun tink abouts sneakin' in!

I hopes you all haz a terrific time. I tink we deservez it after da lastee couple of weeks.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Itty Bitty Cafe' Grand Openin'

Itty Bitty Cafe'
Grand Openin'
Sun-day April 20th!!!!!
Dat iz today! Yawhoo!

Delilah, Moi, Mini, Auntie Stinkie, Iris, Kellie, Maximillian, Angus, and Bounce have a "sweet-hearts" night out in da new cafe'

We will be hangin' out justee tryinz out some new recipeez & a few of da old flavor-ites.
So drop on in if you feelz up to it.

Da menu includez:
Fishy tuna puffs
Nip chip cookiez
Filet of roastie beef
Ham (fur meezerz of course!)
Roastie Chix-hen
Sausagez 'n' gizzardz
Lizard pie
Squirrel tail
Duck ala king
Fur my vegan frendz (Stifler???): Spinach florentine
And nip-tiniz GALORE!!!

HooBoy! Lets get da ball rollin'!

Cafe' sponsorz:
Daisy da Curly Cat
Miss Peach
Cheysuli (inadvertantlee)
& da Bank of Catafornia


(I only owez da dadee five squillion green paperz!)

Friday, April 18, 2008


Tanks to all our frendz fur comin' by dis week to celly-brate some speshul birf-dayz at our housee.

Da typist iz un-availabull to-day, but tomorrow, on Sat-tud-day, I yam gonna be vizitun' each & evfurry one of you. I hopes you will be around.... 'cuz I yam gonna bring evfurry cat a nipchip cookie!

I yam testin' recipeez fur da Itty Bitty Cafe'!
See you soon.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Delilah's BIG Birthday Adventure

Thank you Tuxedo Gang for this gorgeous graphic!

Hi every one... today is my THIRD birthday, and my Uncle Dr Tweety said that I could have a BIG adventure... so I am taking him "up" on his word!

Oh look! Is that a nice yummy birdie over there? Just for me?

Oh it looks delicious! And I bet my Uncle Tweety would roast it for me in honor of my third birthday.

I do hope that Angus Mhor is watching... he will see that even though I am full figured, I am quite an athlete.

Now I must go a bit higher to catch my prize.

Ummm... Dr Tweety? Exactly how high am I?

Fantastic! Now the squirrels have joined in... I do love a tasty little squirrel now and then.

Just thinking about squirrels makes me a bit woozy. Not to mention that Angus took some pretty hot photos of himself last week, and I have not completely recovered!

Well, nothing for it... I have no choice but to go higher still. That little tease of a squirrel thinks he's going to have a bit of fun.

Oh gracious! Now he dashed up into the trees. What a racket!

Ah, but just think what my Uncle Tweety can do for a birthday dinner with a little bit of gamey meat.

I think I will have as much as I want tonight, and to heck with diets. You don't turn three years old every day!

"Dat iz right Delilah! You iz a furry good frend, & I tinks you hadz a great ad-venture to-day. I tinks you needz to be care-full. If da momee saw you up dere she mights haz an attax."

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

A few (HIC!) wordz on Wed-nezday

I haz had da bestee birf-day in my entire life!!!! Tanks to all my frendz, old & new, dat tooks da time to come & haz some fun... What a day. (HIC)

If you all izn't compleeetly worn to a frazzull, mebbe you will come back fur Delilah'z 3rd birf-day this Thurz-day!

I love you all,
(HIC!) Doctor Tweety

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

My birf-dAY!!

And Happy 17th to my frend Princess!

From da tally-tented & wunder-full Tigger, Momo, & Pyewacket!

dA MOmeE MaDE mE nIP tiNIz FUR mY
8th bIRf DAy!!

oH dEZe aRE fuRrY gOOd! anY CaaT wanTs oNE?
oNE, TwO, tRee, fLipp!
yOwZa! dAt iZ a dYnOmIte TaIL!
HuH? yOU tINKS i LoOks sILLy?
i Do nOTs CaRe! aNUddEr fLip PleEzE!
uH, Da wUerLd Iz gOiN' rOUnD....
MeBBe i sHoUld eAts a Itty bIttY gRassE & pUkEs!
Momee: "Dr Tweety! Would you like some tuna cake honey? I think Mini just showed up. I'll go get the niptinis."

Dat iz a furry good idea momee!

Celly-bratin life in Orry-gone