Tuxie Tuez-dayz

Well, I yam just into sharin’ my blog dis week, cuz da momee iz plannin’ on leavin’ yet againz. She has to go “on da road” fur her work until Saturday!!!! Of course, dis leavez me wit no typist justee when I haz a bunch of stuff to reports.

I tink I will let Delilah say a few tingz. Oh, but first, if you inspects dis pic below, you can see dat I am getting’ her ready to go see dat boy Angus Mohr. She waz sittin in da pine needlez out in da back yard in da snow so I waz tryin’ to gets ‘em offa her before she flew out da door again. Az you all know, Delilah likes to talk, so better gets a bowl of kibblez before you hearz what she haz to say!”

I yam inspectin da bunz fur pine needlez

Delilah sez "ptooey" on da inspection

“Delilah? Here Kitty Kitty. Comer oevfur here & say a few tings.”

“Oh hi everyone! I’ve had a very busy weekend. I snooped around the backyard just to make sure that even though it was snowing the bluejays weren’t taking over the garden. I sat at the sliding door window with Iris and we took turns playing “Imagine biting squirrel’s tails.” Then I took a nap.

Delilah iz dreamin' bouts Angus Mohr & V-Day

I went upstairs and helped mommy to fill out a new job application, and oversee Uncle Tweety’s blog. I bit mommy’s nose and sat in her lap while she whined and muttered that the “blasted INFERNAL @#$%^&*! PD100 application won’t download!” (mommy!!) and then I took a nap.

Delilah kissez da dadee 'cuz she iz a L-O-V-E cat

Mommy had me help her in the bathroom while she colored her grey furs. Funny smelly stuff she uses. I don’t understand why she covers her grey furs, I am grey all over, and I am beautiful. But mommy says that I am young and I don’t have to worry about that kind of thing. After she smeared blue stinky goo over her furs, I went and took a nap.

I helped mommy do the laundry and inspected the clothesbasket for matching socks. I climbed into mommy’s briefcase and played “Hide the Rat.” Then I took a nap.

Delilah peeks out 'cuz she iz shy abouts Angus

I helped daddy clean the food bowls and supervised him while he put Auntie Stinkie’s pills into chicken pill pockets. I got daddy to give me some Greenies, and then I tricked mommy and got her to give me some more. And then I took a nap.

I posed for pictures with my Uncle Dr Tweety, and then I took a nap. And I dreamed about Angus, and his wonderful way with words, and I am so hoping I can send him a Valentine’s day card. I am so excited about Valentine’s Day!! Oh darn- I have to go now. Dr Tweety says I have rambled on long enough. I have to catch up on my beauty sleep and take a tiny nap, you know, for just a couple of hours.”

Okeedokee gang. Dis iz da doctor sayin’ goodnight and good luck getting’ your housemates off yer blogz!

Oh...& one more ting....I WILL be comin' by to say "Hullo" to my frendz tomorow night & on Friday night, if da momee will kindly carve a minuet from her TERRIBLY bizzy day!

Cruisin'

Az many of you are aware, da Mad Bad Burr-man Maximillian & dat sweet gurl cat Kellie da Orange Cat, went on a cruize around Puget Sound on Saturday. Max emailed me some of da pix of what waz happenin' & a bit of a report:

"Kellie and I decided that since the old grand Princess Marguerite was not available for us (which is a true shame, since Kellie would have appreciated the brass rails, the wood planks and the gorgeous dining room....just look at that beautiful vessel below) we would take a day long ferry cruise through the San Juans, enjoy the brisk weather and do some Orca whale watching."

"The air was crisp and cold and offered a lovely view of the Seattle horizon and the snow covered mountains. We even did a bit of sightseeing along the pier and sipped a bowl of clam chowder together at Ivars"

"I managed to arrange a dinner at the old Rosario Resort, and we ate Yellowfin tuna until we almost popped. After dinner we took a stroll along the beach and spoke of many things. I am still drawn to my work with the Burmese Security Forces, but if Kellie wants me to find a transfer to something closer, I will consider all offers."

"As the day came to a close, we boarded the ferry back to Seattle, and Kellie took the teleporter back to British Columbia. Mommy picked me up at Union Station, and when I fell into my bed late last night, all I saw were Kellie's beautiful green eyes."

Well dat soundz like mebbe da Burr-man won't be whappin' ats me fur awhile. I should founds him a gurl cat along time ago!!!! Kellie, you iz an angel! Dis cruize gots me to tinkin' dat mebbe da Mini would likes to go somewhere. & mebbe Angus would join us too. Mebbe da cats of da bloggospear should haz a Valentinez party on da "LOVE BOAT?"

Seven Random & Weerd Tingz Meme

I yam justee now catchin’ up wit memez dat I gots tageed fur. Derby Sassy Cat & Ariel tagged me fur da seven weird & random tingz meme, but da momee here waz so bizzy she forgots to help me!!!! Unbeleeva-bull!! I decided to feature Lady Iris in dis meme, since she hardly gets any bloggie time. “Iris? Here kitty kitty!”

Oh dear, dere she goez again, racin’ up & down & up & down da stairz. Dis iz why da momee & dadee haz no decent pix of her….dey iz always blurry. But, I has to make do wit what I yam given!

Some 7 tingz abouts Lady Iris

She haz freck-gullz in her earz & a spot on da side of her noze. (You can biggify da pix to see detailz.) Da freck-gullz do not have wingz but dere are hairz stickin up out of her earz.

5) She haz extra long whiskerz. Deze tickle da momeez noze & makes her sneeze & giggle. Sometimez dey fallz out & da momee pix ‘em up & savez ‘em. What da heck iz she gonna do wit ‘em anywayz? Paint a picshure? She doezn't evefun haz da time to do my bloggie...just when iz she haz time to paint????

Iris waz called Duchess at da shelter before we gots her home & da momee & da dadee were tinkin’ dat she waz really more like a beeotyfull flower in da gardun, so dey named her Iris. She haz a nick-name too: It's “Noodle Cat.”

She iz proba-bully a American Sing-a-ling, but no one iz really sure. She gots a curly tail dat iz rolled up along her back like a Akita, & she singz in a furry high squeaky voice.

She sleeps on da momeez head & playz da piano in her hair. When her sharpeez are too long, she givez da momee ack!you-puncturez. (Gemini’s momee should study dis technique!!) She also likes to break da momeez Auntie Cuez & justee recently broke a 120 yrz old vase. Yikes! In fact, it iz da one dat had all doze feverz in it dat you can see abovez.

She givez Delilah baths & not da other cats. She curlz up wit Delilah evurry night & boy, do dey evfur take up a lot of room on da bed! She snugglez on dadeez lap but NOT da momeez.

She likes high places too (mebbe dis iz why her voice iz a soprano?), so she climbz on da dadeez & da momeez shoulder & ridez around da housee & da yard like a monkey. Come to tink of it, I tink she IZ a monkey!! But not a Sea Monkey likes da Daisy haz.


So now I yam taggin' Skeeter & LC, if dey hazn't done dis one alreddy!

Word-full Wednez-day

We haz lots of catchin’ ups to do. I has to apolly-gize to all my frendz dat haz challenged me to memez. Da momee here iz way behind at work & so I doez not haz a typist to help me out. Iz dere anyone outs dere dat can sparez a momee? Az soon az I gets da typist fur awhile, I will do da memez.

In da meantime, I has to say dat we gots lots of cats in love here, so Saint Vally tinez iz gonna be bizzy!

Firstee, juasee looks at whats Angus Mohr did fur Delilah! He sents her speshull flowerz & evfun wrotes her a poem. Here iz da poem. (I must say dat dis boy haz talent!!!)

Softly steps her dainty paw,
Into my heart a gentle touch.
An easy conquest maketh she,
And here I stand but trembling.

Graceful form winds sinuously,
a feather-touch upon my cheek.
Daringly I reach out and touch,
A tenderness extending.

Delilah haz been runnin’ arounds da housee & singin’ lots of songz likes “So Happy Togedder.” She haz evfun asked me to helps her wit a speshull cookin’ project.

Den, da bad mad Burr-mann Maximillian and Kellie da Orange Cat are cooin’ oevfur tuna puffs & niptiniz. Kellie madez a speshull luncheon fur Maxi & he iz ready fur a second date. I tink he iz gonna ask da momee to bake some tuna pie fur Kellie. Oh, & he hazn’t growled ats me evefun once all week!!

Now, my poor neglected Mini. She haz been workin’ in da kitsch-hen & cookin’ ups a storm. Oh I lovez da Mini. I needz to gets her a nice box of chocolate flavored ‘nip mousiez. Mini honey, can you come oevfur dis weekend? I wants to show you my new blanket. I tink we could naps on it togedder.

Dat iz fur now….az soon az da momee gets her act togedder, we will leavez comments wit our frendz bloggiez. We haz been readin’ ‘em, but az you all know, you needz a typist to be abull to respond! “Momee??? Do you hear dat????”

Our friend is gone & I yam trying to be brave

Dis was our frend Caesar. He waz a beuotyfull soul. He & hiz sister Princess alwayz visited us & made da Auntie Stinkie happy 'cuz dey were senior cats togedder. On New Yearz Eve, he & Prinnie climbed all da way to da top of da tree & swayed back & forth & back & forth. I justee cannot beleevz he iz gone. & I yam terrybull worried about Prin. My heart hurts fur her heart, & fur da hearts of dere beanz. We haz had much troubull wit leaky eyez oevfur here & da momee here doez not feel like writin' abouts other tingz.

I yam goin' to try & tink of a poem abouts Caesar, & I do not need da momeez help to writes dis:


POEM FUR CAESAR

Dis spirit of feline grace
blessed many a house in cat boggin' space.
He reveled in wearin' hiz tuxedo of black & white furz
& waz manly in all events dat occurred.
He waz a prince to hiz Princess-
of smaller cats he never thought less,
he traveled light,
waz peaceful & polite,
but still managed tree climbin' evfurry night.
Now he iz gone away to a distant land
where colorz of red & violet & yellow &
turquoize blue
swirl to a band of rainbowed hue.
Da cats of da bloggin' world nod dere headz & understand,
& cry out to our dear departed frend,
"Caesar o' Caesar,
only time will allowz our hearts to mend."

Much love, Dr Tweety, Iris, Maximillian, Delilah, and Auntie Stinkie

Fried Friday, but furry happee indeed!

Now, I gots some more pix & some BIG newz. I yam discussin' da recent love ting dat iz goin' on wit my frendz Iris & Delilah, & we tink
dat Queen Snickers iz cookin' up sumpin' quite interestin' wit her L-O-V-E fest, called "Single Kitties Love Cafe."

Kellie da Orange Cat posted on Queen Snickerz cafe', & my brudder da mad bad-Burr-man saw her pic & flipped!!! He iz evfun reddy to givez up his spy activiteez fur da love of such a fair gurl cat... so he tinks he should acceptee her invee-tadeshun to a roastie duck lunch. My starz & garterz.. I nevfur thought sumpin' like dis would happen. It might make him more a cat den a mash-sheene.

Okeedokee. I justee has to say tanks to my Australian palz at Top Cat Rules & Tigger da FBI Cat. Dey made me dis cool scrapbook pic which I likes furry much, & I tinks da momee will be furry fond of it in yearz to come. I lovez you Tigger & Pyewacket!

Here az you can see, da Delilah, Iris & I iz all dreamin' about L-O-V-E, & we deci-dud dat dis emoshun iz a furry POWERFUL ting. It iz a heart song & we iz singin' it at da tops of our lungz!!! Well, mebbe we are justee tinkin' dat we are singin' it, but dat iz OK fur a Fry-day.

Becuz Delilah iz still wonderin' abouts Angus, Iris is whisperin' in her ear abouts stripey boyz...."You gotta make sure dat dere intenshunz is honora-bull." I tinks he iz honora-bull, but I has to makes sure. Delilah iz listenin' to her big sissy & me. Angus???

I haz one more important piece of newz: Momo said she waz gonna haz a partee dis weekend. & I yam sad. Da momee here iz dezertin' me once agin fur da Auntie Cue show. She iz gonna be outta town fur three dayz!!!! But on da eve of da Martin Luther King Day, she will be back & she PROMISEZ ( I haz a dream abouts dis) dat we will vizits ALL my frendz!!!

Not so wordy-less Wednez-day

I yam speechless. Well you guessed it, not quite! It iz wordyless Wednez-day, but I guessee I haz plenty to say.

Firstee, da awardz justee keep comin' in from da cat bloggo-spear & da momee iz oevfur whelmed. I yam too, although, I has to say she should not be oevfur whelmed cuz dey iz awardz fur us cats, NOT da hired help!!!

Okeedokee, now dat we gots dat straight, lets do a review:

Firstee, frum my frends at da Ballicai blog, Chairman Mao & hiz brudder (who used to be a gurl) Brainball, dis wonderful award "Bloggerz of da World."

I tink dis iz furry unyversal, & I wants to pass it on to Mr Hendrix. He iz alwayz bein' a universally good guy & gnarly partee common tater. He also knowz how to pour a mean niptini. (Yummm. snarf!)

Den, THREE of our frendz gaves us da tinkin' award:

Da bloggin' kitteez of 40 Pawz (who supports twice az many cats az livez here), dat sweet gurl cat Ariel (Chairman Mao's sweetie pie), & my bestee bud, Henry Helton, passed dis one on to us.

I yam suppozin' dat da award fur tinkin' mustee go to cats who uze dere nogginz.

I can tink of one right off who fits dat bill: Chey, da candy-date fur prezzydent dat will knock da panty-hoze right off of Hilary'z chunky thighz.

& I also wants to givez Boy Genius Cat (of course he tinks!!! Wit a name like dat, how could he not?) & Dragonheart & Merlin dis award, 'cuz dey alwayz tink abouts other cats.

& finally, I yam mostee ex-cited to report dat my new issue of Saveur came as well. In it were da bestee 100 tingz in da world of da Gour-maidz. One of dem was roastie duck!!!! Can you beleevz it? I yam gonna justee savour dis issue, but I do promise to share it wit da Auntie Stinkie. She lovez roastie duck. & da Auntie Stinkie tinks dat Pixie should gets a tinkin' award too, 'cuz Pixie iz alwayz tinkin' abouts bannerz.

& az long az I've blown dis day wit so many wordz, let me add justee one more. Dat young mancat Angus dat haz been courtin' Delilah? Da cute stripey Scots boy? I haz my eye on you bud. You better treats her right & not be fickle. After all, she iz one beeyoutyfull & sweet Tuxie. &, she iz my itty-bitty rat cat frend.

I gots an award!!!

Oh yippee skippee!! I gots dis "You makes my day" award frum two of my bloggin' frendz!! Da loverly Gretchen & my good bud Mickey.

The You Make My Day Award is presented to bloggers whoze blog brings you happiness and inspiration and makes you feel happy about Blogland. The rules are to pass the award along to up to 10 Kittiez.

I tink I know who to pass dis on to (well da firstee cat selection iz frum Delilah I should say!):
1) Angus!
2) Mini (smoochie smoochie Honey!)
3) Pablo
4) Scout
5) My frend Henry Helton whom I miss terrybully
6)(Delilah picked dis cat too, 'cuz dey look alike) Misty at The Crew
7) Samantha & Tigger
8) Momo
9) Tigger da FBI cat
10) Zippy, Sadie & Speedy

So tanks so much Gretchen & Mickey. I feel furry honored.

Annie & Mao, pleze come home

We iz holdin' a purr a'thon fur deze two loverly cats dat iz missin:

Annie

& da Mao!

Look at dere pix & see dem in your head comin' home to dere beanz & cat palz all happy & safe. We are all gonna be waitin' up to make sure dat dey are returned soon.

Sleepin' da day away!

Well, you guessed it! Dere iz nuttin’ to do today but sleep. I yam justee ex-hogsted from Miss Peach’s 15th birfday partee dat waz hosted by Karl & Ruis on der Antartica cruise. Man 0’ manno…doze tuna puffs were da bestee & I tink I mebbe puts on two poundz. Dis will go well wit da other two poundz dat I gained ovefur da holly-daze.

Da sweet Mini & I danced until dawn on da deck under da moonlight. Da pengwinz waz watchin’ us & I waz a itty-bitty nervous dat der waz so many of dem, but I justee gazed into da Mini’s eyez & I forgots dat doze birdz in da tuxedoes waz dere. I yam gonna sleeps until tomorrow, when dere should be fun stuffs & surprizez to do wit da other cats in da bloggo-spear at Kimo & Sabi's shower.

Oh!!!! & Guesee what????? I made my 100th post!!!!! I justee forgot all abouts it...good-grief, da momee iz really behind!

Tuxie Tuez-day: Dreamin'

Hi everyone!!! I am representing Tuxedo cats on Dr Tweety’s blog today, but since mommy is so busy I only get to say a little bit. Someone, and I won’t tattle on them by mentioning any names, lifted their tail onto mommy’s antique pine dresser that she just brought home. The girl cats here do not do such things! Uh-oh, mommy left the house for work, and she was muttering under her breath. I think instead of sinking my claws into the vintage scarves that cover the stereo speakers, and pulling it off along with the folk art statue, I will just lay low!

One more little thing: (I’ll try not to blush when I say this!) The smart and handsome Angus has such beautiful stripes. And I just love his name! My mommy has a Scots background, so I appreciate a name that makes her want to break-out in a jig! Not that she could actually do a jig, because she is too lame and ancient. Mommy? Are you reading this at the office? Are you spewing coffee from your mouth? Uh-oh, I am going to go now, and think nice thoughts about that young man-cat Angus.

Man-cat Monday RAISE YOUR PAW!

Today I yam askin' all da kittiez to raise der paw & go to da Animal Rescue Web site: http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/
Click on da "donate" button & da kitteez & other anymalz at da shelter will haz food bowlz donated by da count of how many cats click on da button. Dere haz been a shortage of button pushin' lately, so some of doze cats & other dawgz & rabbits & other speciez might be gettin' hungry. Pleaze helpee!

Bamboozled Fry-day!

Well gang, da momee here iz pickin’ up her grown-up boy bean at da train station tonight, so no bloggin’ wit our frendz fur a couple of dayz! I cannot beleevz it…just when we waz on a roll. If she had any sense, she would take da roast beast dat she bought fur da boy & lets me haz it fur my frendz. I would not evfun uze da fancy horse-radishez dat she bought. I mean, who wantz sumpin’ dat horsez grew? Or mebbe dey pooped ‘em out? I dunno…it justee izn’t right.

Oh—az a side note, da Burr-manz diary iz now MY personal tissue paperz. I tink I will dye dem green, so I can uze dem at da store to purchase many tingz. So much fur hiz “yellow” journalism!

Diary of the mad Burr-man

Guesse what evfurry buddy? I found da mad Bad-Burr-manz diary!!! He thought he hid it from me… fur heavenz sakes! It’s not like you can find a place in dis house to hide anyting ‘cuz da beanz haz it so stuffed full of dere own stuff, dere iz no place leftee, evfun in da claw-zitz!

So here iz a couple o’ entreez dat bere witness to da fact dat he may be a stool Pidgin (Az Zippy, Sadie & Speedy so appley con-jectured)

September 2007:
“The consul general has asked me to account for the actions of Dr Tweety. Now that my adopted Himalayan brother is writing his own blog, the General suspects that hackers (I was afraid to ask the General if this means hairball throwers) may use my brother’s blog for covert messaging.

I must admit I had never considered this. I really thought that Tweet was just a lazy Persian type that I must continuously harass just to make sure that the house stays safe. And, to maintain status, we must keep up with our peeing contests. In light of the beans spraying Feliway everywhere, it is imperative to gain the upper hand. I have explained this to the Doctor innumerable times, and he simply ignores me.”

(OMG!!! Can you beleevz dis? He waz reportin’ to da Burmeze Consul General right after I started my bloggie!!!! And that’s not all!)

November 2007:
“I have to continuously whap and harass Tweet. His demeanor after starting this infernal and unsafe blog is one of, should I say, a Hollywood “B” movie star? He might just as well use his time posing for cat food commercials or for flea spray."

(Flea spray??? Did he justee say FLEA spray?!)

"The General has promoted me to Chief Security Officer of the local Burmese command center. I am to proudly represent the breed for all Burmese cats in the neighborhood."

(Oh sure! Since he iz da only one…dis makes him da commander of nuttin.’!)

"Since Tweety is a Himalayan, I have decided to make him an honorary Burmese so that I may gain better control. The General agrees that in order to squelch an uprising, such as unplanned peeing inside daddy’s music room, control is a priority. It’s a little sad because I know how much mommy and daddy love him…but they’ll get over it!”

Well dis provez it! If da Burr-man tinks he is gonna control me, he haz another thought comin’! Okeedokee, I mustee calmz myself. I really cannot get down to hiz level of spyin’ in da name of security. Where iz dat lavendar sachet of da momeez? Mebbe I can inhalez some of dat & breathez in & out & in & out & dream of my Mini. Yes, dat iz what I will do. (Sucks in oxygen and lavender, in & out & in & out.)

Word-less MOUSIE Wed-nezday

Mouseiz fur Delilah & Iris!!!

Thanks to all, a happy new 2008!

Tanks evfurry kitty! Fur makin' da big partee a wild success. We had cats from around da world & we rang in da New Yearz wit da English cats, da Canadian cats, da Aussie cats, da Nova Scotia cats, da German cats, da Japanese cats, & all time zonez in da
US of A. Whew!

I yam a itty-bitty hung-overz! "Uh, eggz? I don't tink so momee..."

But look what I justee found under da Burrman'z paw!!!!!

Outpost of the Association of Burmese Security Officers

Memo: Security Breech, Albany, Oregon, USA
From: Maximillian the Burman & Chief Security Officer
To: General Stickupyerbuti, Command Post, Burma

Date: January 1, 2008

Dear General,
The situation here is intolerable. Please note the following security risks:

• A 65 pound (I say 65, as 30 pounds were already consumed!) ham is missing. I suspect that one M****s M*****R(edited for security reasons) is the culprit. His brother may also be involved in this covert operation.
• There are duck carcasses everywhere! The land fill is closed today for the holiday, and the stench is becoming a health hazard.
• An antique Tiffany lamp was either stolen outright, or some bad cat (H***Y H*****N, again, edited for security) broke it and did not fess up. I suggest that the insurance company may not reimburse the approximate $20,000 unless we get a confession. Which method do you advise?
• There is a mountain of poop behind the Chinese screen. I am shocked by the absence of scoopers. What were they thinking? Again, I am disturbed by the health hazard this poses. How far will these party animals go?
  
• The British contingent, helped themselves to the 50 year-old bourbon! The momee here is going to have an apoplectic fit when she finds out. Can we replace this with something from India? While I realize it may not have the same kick, it will at least be the same color, and she may not notice for awhile.
  
• When many cats went tree climbing (INSIDE the house I might add), the glitter balls were scattered far and wide. Even the senior cats, the 16 year-olds that should be more dignified, were involved in this activity. I need a glitter clean-up crew pronto! Glitter is a nasty substance, particularly between the toes.
• The bathtub is full of rubber toys. A violation of the worst sort.
• The ceiling (the CEILING!) has paw prints on it! Skid marks of duck grease are apparent on the walls. I have no idea how to remove duck grease from the walls without removing paint.
  
• There were strange cats hanging about all night, typing furiously into their laptops. I tried capturing their posts via wireless router, but my motherboard fried in attempt to keep pace with their chat room antics. Please General, I need a replacement.

I assume you will want names, ages, addresses & email. I will phone tonight when all are asleep.

This is it, over and out, Maximillian reporting for the Burma Security Forces.

Well gang, I tink we're safe fur awhile!!!! Da Burr-man is sound asleep, & I yam gonna light a New Years Day fire with this report.
Party On!!!!!!!!