Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Thanks to all, a happy new 2008!

Tanks evfurry kitty! Fur makin' da big partee a wild success. We had cats from around da world & we rang in da New Yearz wit da English cats, da Canadian cats, da Aussie cats, da Nova Scotia cats, da German cats, da Japanese cats, & all time zonez in da
US of A. Whew!

I yam a itty-bitty hung-overz! "Uh, eggz? I don't tink so momee..."


But look what I justee found under da Burrman'z paw!!!!!


Outpost of the Association of Burmese Security Officers

Memo: Security Breech, Albany, Oregon, USA
From: Maximillian the Burman & Chief Security Officer
To: General Stickupyerbuti, Command Post, Burma
Date: January 1, 2008

Dear General,
The situation here is intolerable. Please note the following security risks:

  • A 65 pound (I say 65, as 30 pounds were already consumed!) ham is missing. I suspect that one M****s M*****R(edited for security reasons) is the culprit. His brother may also be involved in this covert operation.
  • There are duck carcasses everywhere! The land fill is closed today for the holiday, and the stench is becoming a health hazard.
  • An antique Tiffany lamp was either stolen outright, or some bad cat (H***Y H*****N, again, edited for security) broke it and did not fess up. I suggest that the insurance company may not reimburse the approximate $20,000 unless we get a confession. Which method do you advise?
  • There is a mountain of poop behind the Chinese screen. I am shocked by the absence of scoopers. What were they thinking? Again, I am disturbed by the health hazard this poses. How far will these party animals go?
  • The British contingent, helped themselves to the 50 year-old bourbon! The momee here is going to have an apoplectic fit when she finds out. Can we replace this with something from India? While I realize it may not have the same kick, it will at least be the same color, and she may not notice for awhile.
  • When many cats went tree climbing (INSIDE the house I might add), the glitter balls were scattered far and wide. Even the senior cats, the 16 year-olds that should be more dignified, were involved in this activity. I need a glitter clean-up crew pronto! Glitter is a nasty substance, particularly between the toes.
  • The bathtub is full of rubber toys. A violation of the worst sort.
  • The ceiling (the CEILING!) has paw prints on it! Skid marks of duck grease are apparent on the walls. I have no idea how to remove duck grease from the walls without removing paint.
  • There were strange cats hanging about all night, typing furiously into their laptops. I tried capturing their posts via wireless router, but my motherboard fried in attempt to keep pace with their chat room antics. Please General, I need a replacement.
I assume you will want names, ages, addresses & email. I will phone tonight when all are asleep.

This is it, over and out, Maximillian reporting for the Burma Security Forces.

Well gang, I tink we're safe fur awhile!!!! Da Burr-man is sound asleep, & I yam gonna light a New Years Day fire with this report.
Party On!!!!!!!!

31 comments:

Derby said...

We did have a great time Dr Tweety. Thanks for hosting such a wonderful get together.

Angus said...

AAAaaaww, man. I missed the whole thing. Phooey. I was stuck in the cottage while my mom was watching the Sticky Kids, and my mom says she totally forgot about the party! I'm so sorry, Dr. Tweety, 'cuz I promised and everything...I'm glad everyone had such a great time, and there were great eats!

Kimo & Sabi said...

Happy New Year!

Camie's Kitties said...

Happy New Year Dr. Tweety. We are sorry we missed your party, but Mom was out last night with some guy named Wee. She said he was a lot of fun and we might have to get one for our house.

We hope you and your family have a fabulous upcoming year.

Tiki, Tavi, Cody and Camie

Trixie said...

Dr. Tweety we all had a terrific time at your party. You are a great host. The ducks were so good, sorry about the greasy marks.

Happy New Year!

MoMo said...

We had a howling great time at your party! Thanks so much. We particularly enjoyed the whipped cream whapping fight. Did you notice that? We did it (amongst other things) during yur brief absence from the chat room. But we cleaned up good (or we thought we did). I took Charlotte along; she's never been to a party. She had a bit too much of the niptini and way too much duck and ham. Diet, what diet? Happy New Year!

Fat Eric said...

Happy New Year to you and your family! Hope your 2008 is great! The party was unforgettable!

Hot(M)BC said...

Good thing to do with the report Dr Tweety. hehehe It was a great party!Fanks lots :)
Purrrrrrrrrs
Mini

THE ZOO said...

Happy New Years. Were sorry we missed yur party but owr beans is no gud.

Skeeter And LC said...

That was a GRATE PARTY, Dr Tweety! Thank you so much. We hadda wunnerful time. That's the first time we efer hadda duck before and we sure liked it lots.

An thanks fer burnin that report. We noticed some activities in it we might could be accoshiated wif (that baftub toy mess, especially)!

Happy 2008!

Mickey said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!! That was a great post! His 'puter fried ,hahaha!!
Awesome party Tweety,awesome!!!!!
Purrs Mickey

The Meezers said...

we hadded a great time. for some reason, there's ham efurrywhere in our kit-chen. we are sending a contingent of human servents to clean it up and return it to Albany, Oregon

Andrée said...

I'm glad it all went so well, Tweety. Sorry I wasn't there. I had a date. Had fun. Missed you all. Happy New Year!

Henry Helton said...

I had such a great time at the party! Already can't wait until next year.

michico*Adan said...

Happy Happy NEW year~

Boy said...

Wow! I missed the party! But you guys sounded wike you had gweat fun! Happy New Year!

Cheysuli and gemini said...

It was a great time Dr. Tweety! Thanks for hosting!

Alexi said...

Dr. Tweety,
Annie, Molly, and I hadda such a grate time at yoor partee. I remember the Lionel Richie song, "Dancing on da Ceiling". Now we dooded it!!! You throw some fantastik partee!! Thanks again!! Hope we're invited next year!!!

Alexi said...

Bye da way!!! Happi Noo Yeer!!

One-Eyed Jack said...

What a great party! We had so much fun!!

Happy New Year! And I hope your staff humans are up to cleaning the mess promptly!

My OTW says phooey, I missed the Bourbon?

~Jack and Persephone

Dragonheart & Merlin said...

Thanks for hosting such a great party, Dr Tweety. We had a wonderful time. Happy New Year and all the best in 2008! :)

Forty Paws said...

It was a great time had by all! Good thing you got to destroy that memo!

Luf, Us

The Crew said...

Tweety, it was a fabulous party...food, decorations, music! I can't remember when we've had such a great time. Too bad you missed the whipped cream fight and kitty bowling (Max and I were both pins) Then we played thundering herd through the whipped cream. What a way to start off the new year!

Now to the serious business though, you must take my advice, Tweet. Disavow any knowledge of reported damage. Over the years I've found 2 phrases that work well in almost any situation. The first is "I don't know" which must be said while looking completely innocent and the second is "Not me!!" said while looking shocked at how something like that could have happened.

George

Daisy said...

Duck grease skid-marks on the wall! Hahahahaha! You really know how to throw a fun party.

SophieKitty said...

Happy New Year! Thanks for visiting me!!

Purrs,

SophieKitty

Pablo said...

Thanks heaps for the awesome party. It was my first time to try duck and play both Thundering Herds of Elephants AND Tub Hockey!! Good times all around.

Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

Oh Dr. Tweety, da party was fantabulus! We think da burman is actually a stool pidjun...destroy da report and hide all evidence!

Jan said...

What a party! Are your folks still alive after viewing what was left of their home?

jans funny farm

Sunny's Mommy said...

So sorry we missed the big party. Sounds like a great time was had by all :-D

Happy New Year to everyone in your family!

Eric and Flynn said...

Hi Dr. Tweety that wuz such a grate party we only just sirfissed today. Must haf been that Bourbon. Woohoo furr the Doktor the gratest party giver efurr!!!

topcatrules said...

We lOVED the party! Way cool dude!
High five!

Celly-bratin life in Orry-gone