Thursday, January 3, 2008

Diary of the mad Burr-man

Guesse what evfurry buddy? I found da mad Bad-Burr-manz diary!!! He thought he hid it from me… fur heavenz sakes! It’s not like you can find a place in dis house to hide anyting ‘cuz da beanz haz it so stuffed full of dere own stuff, dere iz no place leftee, evfun in da claw-zitz!

So here iz a couple o’ entreez dat bere witness to da fact dat he may be a stool Pidgin (Az Zippy, Sadie & Speedy so appley con-jectured)

September 2007:
“The consul general has asked me to account for the actions of Dr Tweety. Now that my adopted Himalayan brother is writing his own blog, the General suspects that hackers (I was afraid to ask the General if this means hairball throwers) may use my brother’s blog for covert messaging.

I must admit I had never considered this. I really thought that Tweet was just a lazy Persian type that I must continuously harass just to make sure that the house stays safe. And, to maintain status, we must keep up with our peeing contests. In light of the beans spraying Feliway everywhere, it is imperative to gain the upper hand. I have explained this to the Doctor innumerable times, and he simply ignores me.”

(OMG!!! Can you beleevz dis? He waz reportin’ to da Burmeze Consul General right after I started my bloggie!!!! And that’s not all!)

November 2007:
“I have to continuously whap and harass Tweet. His demeanor after starting this infernal and unsafe blog is one of, should I say, a Hollywood “B” movie star? He might just as well use his time posing for cat food commercials or for flea spray."

(Flea spray??? Did he justee say FLEA spray?!)

"The General has promoted me to Chief Security Officer of the local Burmese command center. I am to proudly represent the breed for all Burmese cats in the neighborhood."

(Oh sure! Since he iz da only one…dis makes him da commander of nuttin.’!)

"Since Tweety is a Himalayan, I have decided to make him an honorary Burmese so that I may gain better control. The General agrees that in order to squelch an uprising, such as unplanned peeing inside daddy’s music room, control is a priority. It’s a little sad because I know how much mommy and daddy love him…but they’ll get over it!”

Well dis provez it! If da Burr-man tinks he is gonna control me, he haz another thought comin’! Okeedokee, I mustee calmz myself. I really cannot get down to hiz level of spyin’ in da name of security. Where iz dat lavendar sachet of da momeez? Mebbe I can inhalez some of dat & breathez in & out & in & out & dream of my Mini. Yes, dat iz what I will do. (Sucks in oxygen and lavender, in & out & in & out.)


Cheysuli and gemini said...

I can't imagine anyone controlling another cat. No wonder he is mad!

Henry Helton said...

I am very glad that you found Max's diary. Now you can put a stop to his destruction!

Karen Jo said...

You did great uncovering this nefarious plot going on in your own house. I hope you deal with the Mad Burman appropriately. A good what upside the head will do for starters.

Andrée said...

A peein' contest! A stolen diary . . . this sounds pretty serious to me. But I think for the time being you should just pretend to go along with it and infiltrate the other camp. you can learn a lot that way.

as for that date? BAH HUMBUG
I wish I could blog about it/him.

Eric and Flynn said...

Hmmm this Mad Burr-man needs some seeryuss watching. Do yoo need us to come over and have a werd wiv him?
Don't worry about it being yer fault that I put on 2lbs. I don't fink it wuz the duck yoo gave me. It could haf been the uvver two I had after though.

Christine and FAZ said...

Oh boy, I would be so cross if someone read my diary (he he he). FAZ

Daisy said...

The Mad Burman really is mad! You must stop him! You had better invest in some good spy-gear.

Mickey said...

Lucky thing that you found that diary! Now you can thwart his plot against you,heh,heh,heh
Glad you gagged at my first cake,heeheehee.Maybe you can tease your Mom with one
Purrs Mickey

Angus said...

Man, it looks like there's some kind of conspiracy going on at your house..Where's ze inspector when you need heem?

P.S. I think that Delilah is verrrry beautiful.

Kellie The Orange Cat said...

Oh NO, as snitch! Maybe you should go to the Himalayan Consulate General and start snitching on the Burr-Man!

topcatrules said...

Crikey! You are one busy cat! I hope you get some nap time! :)

MoMo said...

The plot thickens. If you need help, consult the CCSI gang. They do espionage waork as well.

The Crew said...

Well, now that he knows you're on to him, that should stop the spying.

Celly-bratin life in Orry-gone