Thurz-day 13

Okeedokee. I yam furry pleased to have my December issue of Saveur arrive in time fur da BIG holly-day. Here are some of da tingz I yam plannin’ on doin’:

1) Since Auntie Stinkie cannot readz da new issue of Saveur (rememburr how she used to read my issuez first?), I yam gonna take some time & readz her da bestee chapterz. I tink she will like hearin’ about da fish stew from Bahia Brazil. Mmmmmm, when I gets done describin’ dis fur her, she will be a-bull to smell it!!

2) I tink I yam gonna roastee a duck!!! I will take da roze-mary from da momeez gardun, chops it furry finely (I tink dey callz dat “mint-sin’), chops da momeez gar-lick (do dey gets dat from lickin’ garz??), rub some olive oilz on dat nice plump duck, & den sticks it in da fridge-box fur two whole dayz. Dis will makes a nice crispee crustee on da duck when I roastee it.

3) I needz to looks on da internet fur sweaterz fur Auntie Stinkie & Iris. Deze two gurlz gets furry cold & do not have good enough furz to make dem warm. I better order deze fed-ex or dey will not arrivez in time.

4) I has to wrap da dadeez prezziez. Da momee gots him a surprize from da CafeExpress. I cannot tell you what it iz ‘cuz he readz my bloggie…but you can guessee!

5) I wants to organize a party fur my frendz in da bloggo-spear, but wit da momee bein’ so bizzy, I don’t know if I can pull it off. I waz tinkin’ mebbe oevfur da New Yearz. Since I will be practicin’ my duck roastin’ skillz, I could gets another 592 ducks & we can haz ourselvz a REAL good time. What do you tink?

6) If we iz gonna gobble ducks, what other foodz doez we need? I tink da Saveur talks about mebbe hazzin’ beef? Would my bloggin’ palz appreshee-ates a BIG whopping prime rib? I can dry rub dis & den pokee some holez in it & sticks da whole clovez of gar-lick in (unless I can gets da garz to swim by & justee lick da roastee). Doez you all likes rare, medium-rare, or well done? Pleaze tell me your pre-fur-rentsez.

7) I yam considerin’ orderin’ a bale o’ ‘nip. Considerin’ da amounts of cats, mebbe I should order 2? But I don’t wants to be responsy-bull if someone drivez under da influenza, so mebbe I better hire a dizzy-negated driver.

8) I heard dat da beooty-full Faz & my housee-mate Delilah haz been flirtin wit Rocky. Mebbe I should plan to hostee a parlor game of spin’ da tuna stix? Rocky may have gotten more propozalz fur gurlfrendz den he can handle, so any of you other batch-hellerz out dere might want to be listenin’ up!

9) If Sammy & Chey wants to haul oevfur any left-oevfur ham (iz dere any?), I can gets some Omega 3 pillz to counter-acts da high call-restyroll, & we should all be in good health fur da New Yearz.

10) Fur dezzert I yam stumped. Now da Saveur talks about makin’ crème brulee’ & I yam pretty sure mostee of da cats would like dis yummy cream, but doez we want to uze sugar? I yam tryin’ to be more health-conshus ‘cuz of Auntie Stinkie & also my frendz whose pancreas’ may not be funk-shunning real well.

11) Haz anyone evfur made a shrimp tartlet? Dat would be a good alternative I tink.

12) Tomorrow, iz da momee’z burf-day. I yam not gonna bakes her a cake ‘cuz da dadee iz takin her out to da local gastro-atomic café where dey are gonna have scrumpshus tingz. What can I do instead?

13) You guessed it!!! I will leavez her some hairballz on da sofa & den I will bitey her hand & den I will look real inno-cent & purrz my bestee. She should really appre-she-ate my generosity.

& dat my frendz of da bloggo-spear, iz my Thurz-day 13.