Time to takes tingz into my own pawz

Dr Tweety: "I haz a itty bitty con-fection to makes. Since da momee haz been in-cog-neato (da boy bean & hiz gurl waz vizytin) & I hadz no typist, I waz leftee to my own devices!

I tooks some nannerz, tomaterz & some nip (& mebbe a drop or 213, of fur-moose) & puts it all into da food prosess-her & madez some cock-talez."

"Az you can see frum my brudderz pic below... I may haz oevfur done it a itty bitty bit!"

"Mebbe it waz too much of da nip. I sure hopes da momee doez not come in beforez I can gets dis under control. She & her boy bean & da cute gurl bean Kellie are cleanin' outs da garage."

Auntie Stinkie: "Oh Tweet? I think it may be too late.. Iris mentioned my eyes were burning holes in the sofa!"

Delilah: "Oh goody!!! I want to try and burn holes in the sofa too! See? I am practicing my best laser eyes, but maybe I haven't had enough of that nip concoction. Uncle Tweety? Can I have some more?"

Dr Tweety: "Missy D! If yous really wants to haz lazer eyez, you has to practice your starez firstee. Da nip drink won'ts do it all.

See? See how I yam starin'? Dis iz how you gets dem eye ball muskullz strenghtened to bore holez in da furny-ture."

Delilah: "Well that's way too much trouble for me. Iris and I are going to take a nap until mommy comes out of the garage and fixes roast beast."

Dr Tweety: "Oh Maxi??? Hey brudder... come gets a look at deze laserz. I tinks mebbe we can burnz down da whole entire kitsch-hen!"

"Har har. Dis will servez da momee right fur dee-sertin' us catsez fur dayz on end."

Narrator: "And so dear readers, the Fab Five bore holes into the upholstered furniture, the dry wall, the towels, and the rugs.

A puff of smoke here, a puff of smoke there, and dinner was a wee bit late. There may have been a shriek or two, but as the narrator, I really cannot comment.

The moral of the story? Do not let mommy's think they can desert deserving cats for an entire week!"