Sunday sublime

Dis is da Auntie Stinkie. When momee or dadee comez home in da evening, Auntie will run out & meet dem & den climb in da little car & go fur a ride up the driveway. She tinks it iz funny to park herself in front of da car & force dem to open up da door so she can come inside. But she iz bad doin' dis, cuz she will rippee up da up-holstery in da back seat if dey are not watchin.' (Dis is almost as bad as Henry Helton rippeein' up hiz lady's couch!)

Do you see dat rippee in Auntie Stinkie's ear? She got dis when she waz a itty-bitty fur ball, dat iz what dadee sez. Dis is when she waz da neigh-bore's cat instead of ourz. I tink dey had a yappee weener dawg dat went nutz. Dat iz one reason Auntie Stinkie moved in here. She HATEZ da weener dawgz!

Freaky Friday

!!!!! what iz dis???? It lookz like a lizard... not a cat! & certainly not one of da five catz here. I yam confuzed. Momee said dere would be a Friday pic, but dis iz just not right.

Daisy, Henry, every-buddy, could you pleaze come get dis ting & let it know dat dis iz a CAT blog?!!!!!

Thurzday thirteen

I yam going to delegate dis one to my frend Delilah. Dat pic of her iz frum when she first came to live here & she waz just dat itty-bitty girl dat I would growl at. But now she iz my best frend. Delilah? Come take dis here blog & do da 13 tingz you like about dis place.

Ok Dr Tweeety, I will do my furry bestest: "13 tingz about me growin' up"

1) I waz only seven weeks old when I moved here, & I like to sit in da middle of da kitchen floor so dat da beanz would have to alwayz be on guard to not sqwash me. Dey waz always reminded each other to watch fur me & pesterin' each other, "Watch out fur da kittie!".

2) I get to eat Greenies fur catz. Dis is my special treat. Only Auntie Stinkie, Maxi & I will eat dem. Dr Tweety does not like Greenies. Dis gets me extra portions, which may be why my belly is bigger den his.

3) When I was five months old, I dis-appeared for one whole night! Momee & dadee were desperate to find me. Dey search-lighted da entire neighborhood wit lightz & went door-to-door. No one had seen me. Dey looked in ditches up & down da country roads, & called & called my name. Dey stayed up until 3 a.m. & den went to bed wit nightmarez. In da morning, dey sat on da couch satrin' inot emptee space, & dadee had wet eyez & momee had wet eyez & dey were sick. Just before dey had to go to work I came back!! To dis day, dey do not know where I waz. But I never did dat again!

4) When I was six months old, I got da "fe-male" surgery at da Dr. But I got furry sick & momee waz cryin.' She thought maybe dey had killed me instead of makin' me fixed! But I got better.

5) When I got my next set of shots, momee figurred out dat it waz da shotz makin' me so sick. She will not let da vet give me any more shots. I tink I am allergic.

6) When I waz itty-bitty, I started to play da rat game wit momee. I would crawl under da throw on da big wing chair & den look out at momee from a tiny flap. She would scream dat she saw a rat & den I would bite her! If she said my name, I would growl, because it waz not me, it waz a rat!!! I still do dis, & sometimez I gets under da coverz in da bed.

7) Da first night I waz wit momee & dadee, I jumped up & down & up & down 5 million timez on dere bed. Den dey locked me out of da bedroom!!!!

8) Momee uzed to put da cover over da garbage disposal, so I would not fall in!

9) After I spent da night missin', momee & dadee would search everyting in da house if I wasn't right dere when dey wanted me. Dey would search da clothes dryer, da oven & even da closet. Why would I be in da oven? Silly momee & dadee!

10) I like to play in da closet wit my sissie Iris. We hide & pull down momeez clothes. She does not tink dis iz a funny ting fur us to do. But we like it!

11) I am furry respectful of my elderz. Auntie Stinkie taught me dis. She used to box my earz & hissie at me if I tried to jump on her tail. Now she kisses my earz instead. I love my Auntie Stinkie furry much.

12) I do like to hide & jump on da Auntie though, ezpecially when she iz usin' da litter box! Dat iz when she makes a BIG stinkie!

13) Dr Tweety taught me to help momee get ready fur work in da morning. I sit on da counter & help her comb her fur & put dee eye-shadow on. Den she puts da eyeshadow on me & sez I yam most beautiful. She puts da eye shadow on my fore-head. Is dis really where it is supposed to go, or are her eyez not workin' too well?

Ok, tanks Delilah, fur helpin' out on da Thurzday 13.

Wordless Wednesday

Kissin' frendz iz fun

Before I start on dis here blog, I have to say dat somethin' haz gone cuckoo wit Blogger. It iz cuttin & slicin my pix up in itty-bitty slices & I can't fix it. If you click on a slice, den you can see da pic.

In da mean time, I waz postin a pic of me kissin' da beeootifull Iris. Oooo-lal-lah! She smells so sweet... like mice feet & birdie fezzers, & da big outdoors. BUT- da BLOGGER said I could not 'cuz of a air-air!! Can you beleeve it????? Blogger woke up- so now you can see da kissin' goin' on at our house. Well, kind of...Iris is furry shy, so she waz hidin her face!

In da meantime, we invites you to come & sit on da porch wit us. It iz furry safe where we livez cuz it iz on a dead-end, culled-de- sack & no traffic comez at all.

Da first day of da Fall

Da girlz are hangin' out wit dadee, readin' on da porch. Dis iz furry good fur da mental health & I would record-mend dis pre-script-shun fur anyone who iz feelin' over worked & underpaid... are you listenin' momee?

Dadee iz da smart one of da fambly... he doez not worry so much, like da grey-furred-on-da-head- momee. He doez not color hiz fur 'cuz he doez not worry like she doez. Momee colorz da head-fur 'cuz she iz tryin' to stop da old-age, but I do not tink dis workz so well... every-one knowz she doez.

I tink dis iz a good pic 'cuz da two girlz on da couch have white facez & white pawz...dey could be twinz ex-cept dat Iris iz a calico & Delialh iz da grey & white gurl. But dey are like sisterz. Auntie Stinkie iz restin on da balance beam before she startz her exer-size.

See dat old folkz couch on da porch? Momee bought dat just fur da catz fur 25 green backs, but she did not ori-gummy dem like Daisy's mom did.

Well, we will see our frendz in a couple of dayz, if da momee can quit pluckin out da hairz frum her head. I yam beginning to tink work iz fur da birdz.... or mebbe fur lizardz.

Slithery Saturday

Here I yam a bit stunned by my own prowess

Now what do I do dat I have dis-abled da ting?

I tink I should gaze into its beady eyez fur awhile & not listen to momee sqwawkin. She soundz a bit screechy like a parrot. I
yam not im-pressed by parrotz.




Dis iz NOT a rubber snake. Rubber snakez do not rear up der headz & look back at me.



I did it! I caught a snakey ting. It iz a bit hissy, but I brought it into momee & I called fur her to come & see dis new toy. But she screeched a little bit owly-like & told me to git dat ting out-side where it be-longed. So, I take it back out just to save my earz from momeez piercing voice-noizez. But I yam posing wit my new pet fur Daisy & to imp-ress da rest of my cat frendz. Delilah? Are you here to see?

See da BIG GIANT BOA CONSTRICTOR????

Come look at deze pix honey-bunz... I tink dis iz da start of da new MEAN me!

Da def movez of Auntie Stinkie

Auntie Stinkie on da balance beam

Auntie Stinkie givez dose toezez & sharpiez da once over



I yam going to show a "Freaky Friday" pix of Auntie Stinkie. She iz on da porch rail & she iz balancing da beam while groomin' her toezez. Dis iz furry impressive fur a 15 yearz cat & I yam furry proud of her bein' a Jim Nast. I thought dat mebbe da toe a-fishy-no-doze would appreciate theze beautiful toezez. Clyde? Are you seein' deze?



Now Auntie Stinkie doez not get her sharpeez clipped like da other girlz & boyz of da house. Dis is so 'cuz she iz old & grumpy when dadee touches her sharpiez. So, dey getz to stay on.



Please ex-salmon da pix furry carefully. I tink you will see dat der iz no special E-fext & dat da photo shop waz closed.



Please join me in tagging all da catz to participate in da Freaky Friday photo & double treatz if you show your toez while doin' it! We givez direct tagz to Henry Helton, Da Meezerz, Daisy & da Pixie, & HOT(m)BC. Pleaze pass dis along, cuz momee haz not learned da lablel or da window linkie ting yet.

Delightful Delilah

Delilah orders da chard to grow up!

Dis iz my frend Delilah. Momee callz her "delightful" & dadee callz her "Missy D." We like her alot. She waz an itty-bitty kitten when she came to live here, & we waz all a bunch of older catz, feelin' pretty sorry fur ourselvez, 'cuz we had lost da grampa Tiger & Queen Trixie. But dis kitten changed every-ting. She made us all sit up & take notice. She waz picked out special at da shelter 'cuz she waz a "tom-boy," & momee thought she could stand up to us big catz. Hoo-boy, waz she right! Now dis girl iz bigger den any of da other catz, and even though I tink she might be dadee's favo-rite, he doez not let on too bad about it & he still lovez us all.

I taught her how to help in da gardun & here in da pic, you can see she iz tellin' da chard what to do & how to grow, so we can have da vega-tablez to go wit da salmon dat momee cooks.

PS: Daisy, you can come over fur dinner & we can have salmon, but you will have to take da nonstop flight frum Florida. Dis iz furry long & dangerous, so your momee will probably not let you do it. Dat iz too bad. Mebbe you can sail a pirate ship around da Cape & pick up Henry, Clyde, & da Meezers & da mostly Black Ctaz & evrybody else in da blogosphere & we have one BIG GIANT SALMON HOUSE PARTY?????!!!

Momee iz home, but I yam sad

I yam finally back on da blog ting. I mizzed my frends: Henry Hilton & hiz brudder Clyde, Daisy da furry funny Curly Cat, & da five kitteez dat are tuxedo-wearin' catz at Hot (m)BC & all our other visitors. We has to go visit dem to-day & see what dey are up to.

If I yam sad, it iz because momee haz to work so much. She iz havin' to write de stuff on da comp-hooter & take stuff home frum work all de time... so when iz she goin' to play wit us? Who iz goin' to help me wit dis blog?

She haz not even looked at da gardun since she haz been home. Da one good ting iz dat she haz cooked all kinds of furry good tings we (& dadee) like: we got some roastie free-range chix-hen, some free-range steakz (I tink dey came frum bullz do, 'cuz dey are rather tough!), & to0nite, she iz goin' to make our flavo-rite: broiled wild salmon! Hoo-boy, we iz eatin' too good since momee came back & I tink we all have big belliez like toadz!

Ok, I promised every-buddy dat I would have a new poem fur dem... so here goez:

Da ending of da endless summer

De endless summer stops fur a brief moment

Da birdz even

stutter in da trees

Da wind even

pauses in da hope of another spring.

But while we catz do hope & wish & promise to be good,

we chant dis melody to our sunshine brudderhood:

"If only, if only,

if only da summer would not go,

we would be good fur-ever

and never claw, nor pee,

nor ever from home would we think to stray,

if only, if only, if only,

summer would be so kind to stay."

But da flowerz do bend dere pretty headz,

& da tomatoez drop dere verdant leavez,

& da rain pozes mud where da pawz do tread.

So it iz:

Da endless summer it iz ending &

da fall creeps closer wit its brilly-ant coat.

Thatz about all fur today. I yam tryin' to convince momee to work on dis blog more dis week, but she iz not sure she iz goin' to be able to help me. But she said we can vizit our frendz fur sure.

Saturday silliness

Auntie Stinkie doez Costco boogie

Iris iz a furry blurry whir-li-gig

I yam going to tell 'bout da furry funny tings da five have been up to, & let you know dat momee iz goin' to be away fur a couple of dayz 'cuz of her job. We wanted to do some of da tings Henry Hilton & Daisy da Curly Cat have been doin', like dose 7 tings about momee, but itz goin' to have to wait. She iz coming back on Turzday next week & dadee iz goin' to be openin' up da canz of tuna & turkey mebbe, but we won't have any of momeez roastie chix-hen.

See dat Auntie Stinkie in da pic above? She iz sittin in da box dat momee got at Costco.... & then momee roastied da chix-hen fur us all.

Next, I get to tell on Iris. See Iris? Iz she movin' so fast dat you can barely focus on her? Well dis mornin' at 6 a.m. (poor momee waz trin' to sleep) Iris got scared by da air cond-ishu-nun... da ice par-ticklez was formin & makin dat funny noize. So Iris first she clawz momee real good, big sharpies goin' right into duh underarm & not just once, but 3 timez! Den she jumpz onto da nite-stand & she knox over her waterglass & knox da water all over momeez head & pillow & jammiez. Den she knox over da bed-side lamp dat got through da earth & waz re-paired & da lamp baroque agin! & den she knox over da wood-blok of da geesha gurl & momee & dadee are sqwakin' & screechin' & Iris iz hidin' in her bask-it. Hoo-boy, what a mornin!

We will try & re-lax until momee comez back from work. She iz goin' to leave to-morrow & iz goin' to take da soot-caze out. Bah! I hate dat ting & mebbe da Burr-man will lift hiz tail on it before momee can git it in da car!

One ting I can tell you 'bout momee:

1) She hatez goin' out of town fur dis work ting. "Cuz she sleepz wit no catz! Do you tink mebbe Iris should go wit her dis time?

OK- next time I have a poem fur you all. & more 'bout our wourld.

Wordy-less wednezday

Well surprize Daisy!!! I waz goin' to show me bein' wordless, but I yam SPEECHLESS at da bad Burr-mann fur drinkin' out of da gardun bird-bath!!!!! See Daisy's wordless & priceless pic at: http://daisythecurlycat.blogspot.com

Henry & Clyde's meme challenge

Dis meme iz from Henry Hilton... he iz tagging all da kittiez to-day & I would like to help. Here are da rulez he gave... & he let hiz brudder Clyde do da meme, so you could pass t to your brudder or sissie if you want. Visit Clyde's meme at:
http://kingofdowningstreet.blogspot.com

The Rules: In an attempt to get to know fellow bloggers a little better, this new meme was started called the 7 P’s. Fill out the 7 P’s and tag five blogs that you read on a regular basis. (If you can do da tag, let me know how. I yam not doin' too good wit some of da blogger techy stuff.) Have fun!

Passion: Following momee & dadee through da garden. I like sitting beside momee when she haz a bon-fire in her copper fire-bowl, & we gaze at da starz togedder. She haz a martini & tellz me secrets. (Some times she haz two—mariniz, not secrets!) Some times da Delilah joins us on our journeys through da garden rowz.

Purpose: To be a marshmallow Dr phil-oso-fur. Dat is: dispensing ad-vice to da five here & da many out dere wit my poems.

Pursuit: To be in a cat show & win furst prize.... but I yam not pure-bread, so dis will not happen dis time around. (Momee used to call me her first prize Persian boy, to make me feel hand-sum & important.)

Position: On my back wit da tummy showing and da legz in da air like a back-wardz arabesque. Dis iz es-pesially good i front of da fan on da floor when it iz 100 dugreez.)

Pummeling: I have to pummel da mad Burr-man Maximillian back every once in da while. He finally getz on my last nerve & I yam forced to do da deed.


Progress: I used to be furry shy.. but I yam now improving. Someone left me to starve at an abandoned house next door to momeez house, & she fed me baby food until my ribz did not poke through my fur anymore. Dat waz five yearz ago... & I yam now 12 poundz. I used to hate kittens, but now I like da kitten Delilah, & she iz now grown-up. But if da beans brought another one home, I yam afraid I would have to pummel it!

Personality: I yam very marshmallowwy- a big softy. I am like da cat version of Rodney King: "Can't we all just get along here?" (Except fur little bitty kittens.) I have lotz of da patience.... & so I let da Maxi bully me until one day, when he least ex-pextz it, I jump on him & make a few holes in hiz Burr-man fur!

Henry sayz: This meme has been around too long to tag anyone for. I think everykitty has been tagged. Tank you Henry, furr everyting. Da five lovez you & da Clyde. congrats on your award today!

Lightin' da candlez fur kitties

We iz lightin' da candlez fur all da catz dat have gone to da sky. I know dat some in da cat blogosphere call it da rain-bow bridge & I yam not sure about just egg-zactly dat iz, but I know our kittiez dat went away do not suffer or feel pain. I tink dey look upon us all & keep us fastened down—momee callz dat bein' "groun-ded."

Da pic above iz of three furry famous past kittiez in our house: dere iz (frum left to da right) Ozma da white cat & she waz 14, & she waz momeez princess. Den dere is da prezidential Tiger, dat waz dadeez cat, & he waz 18... we had a birthday party fur him & momee made him a party hat. On da right iz dadeez gurl Trixie, & she waz 16. Dadee missez her furry much. She waz a calico queen he sez. She watched over dadee night & day.. & she never let him out of her sight.

So fur all deze recent losses dat beanz have experienced, we all send our prayerz, from da buddha, from da Christ, from all da saintz of da world around, and I will send dis poem to go wit our prayerz:

Light in da mist

There iz nowhere that da catz do not live.
They iz every-where dat you are...
Over there and over here and over the rainbow bridge.
There iz nowhere dat catz do not love.
They iz in your heart & in your mind,
They iz in your bonez & in your spine,
They iz walkin' misty-like thru da streetz,
They iz like spectral beams lightin' up a gloomy night,
They iz under da house and over da treez,
They iz remembering you as you remember them
& only ask dat you fathom dis:
Remember their namez and their heads and their tailz,
Remember da shape & curve of their nailz,
Remember da way they found you!
& you know, yes you do,
Dat dese catz are love,
purest light filled love
all da way through.