Narrator: 'Twas the night before Christ Mouse at the house of the Fab Five, and all the cats were good cats... and Auntie Stinkie said, "I have had many a Christmas, but I think I will leave the excitement for the younger generation this year."
So dear readers, while Auntie Stinkie napped, in the morning the Fab Five gathered at their breakfast table, and looked the bounty over.
Alas, not all went as planned.
Delilah: "Just look at all these presents Iris! Something for Dr Tweety from his Secret Paws pal, and something for me from my true love Angus Mhor, and Auntie Mignon Bean sent something for Dr Tweety and something for all of us cats. Isn't this great?!" Iris: "I do not see any packages addressed to me. Is that one little package supposed to be for every cat?" Dr Tweety: "Now Iris... do nots fret. I yam sure dere will beez sumpin' here dats you can haz. But firstee, I haz to openz up my Secret Pawz prezzie!!! It camez all da wayz frum da New York & I didz nots evfun know dere waz an Old one. Justee looks at dis tightly packed box!" Dr Tweety: "Hoorah! Lets me gets all dis stuffee outs of here & see who sent dis!" "It camez from a kitty named Piper. I doez nots know Piper, but I sure yam glad dat Piper became my Secret Paw. & dere iz evfunz a pic frum dat nice kitty. Dis iz awesome!!!
Tanks you Piper!!!"
"I tinks I yam goinz to chewz on dis itty bitty nip pillow fur awhilez."
Mommy: "Delilah? do you want to open up your Christmas present from Angus sweetheart?"
Delilah: "Open??? Let me in there Mommy!!! Oh! (((gasps with wonderment))) Look at it all... and pink feathers too???"
Mommy: "Yes dear, and look! A beautiful ball with a pink hairy tail on it!"
Delilah: "Mommy? Please put down that ball! You look very silly, and I do believe that is my Christmas toy. Don't you have something to go cook? Like a goose perhaps?"
Mommy: "But Missy D...just look at these delightful feathers!"
Delilah: "And you think I cannot see them when you dangle them in front of my nose like that?"
Daddy: "Look here precious Fuzzy Face, a pretty little pair of pink earrings!"
Delilah: "Pink earrings???? Let me see those Daddy!!!"
"I just have to bite those right this instance!!!"
Mommy: "Dr Tweety! Look what your Auntie Mignon Bean sent to you... a frame for you to put a nice photograph in."
"And kitty treats that SOME ONE must bake before they can be eaten. Um, would you all excuse me for a minute? I have a goose to cook!"
(((Mommy vanishes from the scene, leaving a box of unbaked cat treats on the table.)))
Dr Tweety: "Momee???? Where didz you go????
Delilah???? comez backee... we haz some works to doez here!"
Delilah: "Hah! Do you think I am going to bake kitty treats??? You are completely unhinged Uncle Cranky Pants!"
Iris: "Well don't look at me. I didn't even get anything remotely fun.. and I certainly am not going to wear an apron over my beautiful furs!"
Dr Tweety: "Not evfun fur dis nice nippy mousee Iris???"
Iris: "I am not about to be bribed Dr T, and really, I need to go help Mommy with the goose. Or maybe I will go look for a turkey in the front yard."
Narrator: And so dear readers, as the morning wore on, tempers frayed, and some cats, a little bit over loaded on the nip, came unglued."
Delilah: "That is MY toy Uncle Dr Tweety!!! Mommy??? Make him put that down!!!"
Maximillian: "Delilah, do you want me to whap Dr T with my double toes? I think I can manage a goodly scratch across the nose if you like."
Delilah: "No... I think I'll be okay Uncle Maxi. But it is sooooo annoying!"
Dr Tweety: "I justee cannots helps it. I justee LOVEZ dis nip pillow. Christ Mouse iz furry hard work & I tinks I needz to takes a nip nap.
Narrator: And so this Christmas Day 2008 came and went. Although 'nip may have frayed a few nerves and ruffled a few furs, the Fab Five were all tucked in and fast asleep, as the New Year fast approaches.
May every cat have found safe harbor and good health, and may we wish you the very best yet to come!