Sunday, November 30, 2008

Too much tur-key cheer????

Dr Tweety: "Well evfurry cat... I (hic!) I yam happy to report (hic!) dats da bird waz cooked. Da momee hadz to gets up from da couch & gets into da kitsh-hen 'cuz we cats (hic!) wents on strike.

Den dee un-eekmanagea-bull happened. A ting waz brought into da housee... & it egg-scaped into da play tunnel! I waz (hic!) in no wayz re-sponsi-bull. Evfun though I hadz some holly-day cheer."


"In da pic beelow, you can see da ting az it makes it's way to da end of da tunnel."

Delilah: "EEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKK! A snake in my tunnel????? Oh My Heavens... get that slimy creature out of here!!!!"

Dr Tweety: "Dis may call fur help frum my brudder, da mad bad-Burr-man. Maximillian??? Are you dere? Couldz you comez oevfur here fur a minuet?"

Maximillian: "Um, actually Tweet, I think I have something to take care of here under the table."

Dr Tweety: "Oh holy ser-penteenz! I cannots beleevez dis. I cannots get any cat to comez here & whaps dis ting. Mebbe I will gets da momee to come & whap it wit her cane. Momee??? Canz you come here fur a minuet?"

Mommy: "Tweet? I think we're going to need daddy's help on this one!


Thursday, November 27, 2008

A near Tanks-gifun diz-aster

Dr Tweety: "Az you can cleerly see, I haz been left in charge of peelin' dis mound of taterz. You haz gots to be kiddin! It's not enuff dats I had to cook a pie & peel a tur-key!"

"Delilah? Will you helps me wit dis mountain of taterz?"

Delilah: "This Turkey Day work is getting out of hand... what exactly did you want me to do Uncle Tweety?"

Dr Tweety: "Well honey... you gots to spitz on 'em, pokey holez in 'dere skinz & stix 'em in a pot of water."

Delilah: "SPIT? I do not think I will spit on our lovely Thanksgiving dinner... not me, no way!"

Dr Tweety: "Well dats it fur moi. I yam outta here. No cat or da momee wants to help wit dis tur-key of a din-din!


Delilah: "If he thinks I am going to do all of the prep work, he's out of his ever-loving floofy mind!"

The Narrator: And so it was, it came to pass. The ingredients so lovely, sat lonely on the chopping board... no chef in sight. Celery so green, onions so sweet, garlic so pungent, apples so tart, butter so rich, oranges so juicy, cornbread so moist... all abandoned.

Mushrooms, lonely mushrooms...

A sizzling pan awaiting the onions and mushrooms and a pot of turkey necks bubbling away. But no Tweet in sight!

Although mysteriously, while a sweet potato pie cools on the counter,

A raw turkey sits in the ice box... alone... so alone. Poor bird.

Delilah: "I can't believe this!!! Tweeeeeeeeeety!!!! Where are you??? TWEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!!!! Get in here and finish this dinner!"

Maximillian: "Good Godfrey! That screeching could wake the dead Delilah! This is Thanksgiving... try and remember us older cats."

Auntie Stinkie: "Daddy? I think I know where Tweet is. Let me whisper in your ear."

The Narrator: Alas, Auntie Stinkie was mistaken. There was no Tweet in the bedroom... only a lonely, indentation where once a cat lay sleeping."

Delilah: "Mommy!!! Daddy!!! I found him!!!"

The Narrator: And there, upon his throne, slept the noble Tweet. Oblivious to the raw turkey, the uncooked giblets, the unwhipped cream, and the uncorked wine.

Dr Tweety: (Dreaming) & A HAPPY TankSGIVING TO ALL!!!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

I has to step in & takes control

Dr Tweety: "Since da momee gotted her hurt knee, I yam feelin' a itty bitty oevfur welcomed. Do you seez what I gots to doez?"

"I haz to figgure outs how much dis bird weighz, & see if I can gets it's plas-teek skin off!

Da Saveur sez dats it's mustee roast many many hourzez before it iz thoroughly cooked."

Mommy: (Calling from the couch where she has her knee up and is reading a good book): "Oh Tweety? Make sure you study that recipe for the sweet potato pie. Daddy is counting on that honey."

Dr Tweety: "Fur crime-ninneez sake! Iz she kiddin'? I gots to do da pie too?"

"Dis callz fur da troopsez. Maximillian??? Gets yer kittee bunz inside & let's gets to work!"

Maximillian: "I must be out of my ever loving gourd to be talked into this."

Iris: "Well I am going to volunteer to make the martinis for mommy so she stays happy on the couch."

Delilah: "Just look at all the clutter on this counter! I really fail to see what difference I can make."

"And no, no, NO... I am NOT going to clean the stove for that big old bird! I don't care how good you say it's going to taste"

"I'll just let Daddy do the hard scrubbing, and see if I can find Uncle Tweety to run the vacuum."

Auntie Stinkie: "Thanks for the warning Delilah! I'm going to go find my quiet chair immediately!"

Dr Tweety: "So it iz ups to me catzez. Moi, da Tanksgivin' angell!"

"In fact, I yam headin' outs right now & to sit besidez Momo & gets her all feelin' likes eatin' some tur-key!"

Friday, November 21, 2008

Dr Fry-day

Since I yam a doctor, I am gonna egg-splayn what’s happenin’ wit da momee.

She got’s a funny nee… it ackshoelly iz a bum nee. (?! Iz dat a wabbit dat’s been for-clozed on??)

Anywayz (sorree fur da bad pun) she haz some bad joints all thru her, & dis week, da nee gots a parshul tear in da medial collateral lig-a-mint.

Oofdah! See da pic bee-low.

Dis meanz dat she iz hobblin’ on her cane fur a cupole of weeksez & we will be lucky to haz her so much az open a can of toona den let alone cooks a tur-key.


But, if I yam a lucky boy, da dadee iz gonna go gets da tur-key in da store & den da momee will stix it in da oevfun. It can’t takes two neez to cooks a tur-key, can it?

C’mon momee, gets wit da program!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Word-less & Word-full Wednez-day





Ack-shoelly, I justee wanted to showz off my Cally0for-kneeuh cuzzinz. Dat firstee pix iz da D-A-W-G Miss Emily… she iz a snoozin’ on her nice bed after da pic sesshun. She iz kinda old & grumpy, but she lovez her momee & protects her from intruderz.

Den doze catsez are my cuzzinz Rawleigh & Zsa Zsa.

Rawleigh waz a reskew cat who showed up at da Auntie Mignon’s house & he waz such a big lovea-bull ball of floof dats she tooks him in. Zsa Zsa iz da smokey grey Floofy Queen of da housee. Now she & Rawleigh iz enjoyin’ bein’ brudder & sister az long az dey both gets der wayz. (I yam not sure how dat works egg-zactly, but I guesse dey haz it all figured out.)

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Da BIG bail-out

Tweet: "Okeedokee kitteez... da dadee iz gonna teach us abouts da problemz wit da Amerry-can finanshul market."

Tweet: "So dadee, why iz evfurry one so worried abouts dere green paperz?"

Daddy: "Well Doctor, things are very bad on Wall Street, and on Main Street many beans cannot afford to pay their mortgages or even their winter heating bills."

Tweet: "But dadee, us kitteez needz our toyzez, 'nip, and roastied chix-henz fur Christ-must."

Daddy: "Tweet!!! What did I just tell you about spending more than you have? Never, NEVER spend green papers that you do not have in the bank."

Tweet: (Oh fur heavenz sakee! Likes I havfunt heard dis lesson beforez.)

"Dadee? Iz payin' wit a credit card OK? 'Cuz Delilah haz been uzin' one dat she gots from Chey and Daizy awhile back."

Delilah: "Oh really Uncle Tweety, are you kidding? I am sure that I did no such thing... I would not be irresponsible with Daddy's money. He always tells us not to use credit cards."

Delilah: "In fact, I am quite insulted by your suggestion that I would spend indiscriminately. I will pretend I did not hear that nonsensical remark!"

Tweet: "Dadee? Sumpin' iz up.. I justee feelz it in my floofs."

Delilah: "Now.. where did I put that blasted statement. I know it's here somewhere! I gotta be subtle about this or the jig may be up!"

Delilah: "Aaaaaaaarggggghh! How much does that thing say I spent?!"

Delilah: "You know, I can easily explain this. Mr Paulson said that he was going to bail us out... and now look what happened! We owe him and Mr GM and Mr Ford even more hundreds of green papers. I just don't get it!"

Tweet: " Well catsez... that's it fur sure. Our goose iz cooked. No Santa fur us. How will I evfur explain dis to da Dadee."

Tweet: "Mini? do you tink your momee will let us catsez comez oevfur fur Christ-must dinner if we promisez to bring our own bowlz? Otherwize I tink it's gonna beez stone soup fur us."

Celly-bratin life in Orry-gone