Friday, September 24, 2010

Delilah's De-lay

Maximillian: "Missy D, we have got to develop a plan of action. Daddy has to have a CAT scan on Tuesday, and we have to cancel your knee surgery."

Delilah: "Oh Uncle Maxi! I have been worried about Daddy, but he says every one is going to be fine. But Mommy is wandering around like a moose in the headlights.

What are we going to do?"

Maximillian: "Time to make a couple of phone calls Missy D. Let's get crackin'!

Okay everybody, gather round. Missy D is going to call the CB for some help."

Delilah: "Oh... er, hi... I um, mean hello! Can I please order a thin crust cheese and chicken pizza with extra sardines?

How much will it cost to add about 56 pounds of anchovies?

Is that all?

(Psssst... what do you think gang? Shall we go with the extra fishy?)

All cats: "Yeow, meow!"

Okay Mr Pizza Man, you want Mommy's credit card?
It is PISA #bizillion"

Maximillian: (????!!!!!####&&&***!!!)

"Holy cheese wheels! What am I gonna do now?
Tweety! Quit biting your nails and do something!"

Dr Tweety: "Pardonee moi... I yam tryinz to haz a quiet moment of meddytashun here & send da dadee some heelin' thoughtsez & all you can talksez about iz spare change?

Missy D? Tellz 'em to load on da egg-straw cheez will you?"

Auntie Stinkie: "Delilah? I am so glad you are able to see the key pad on that phone contraption.

I'm pretty hungry tonight... will you get double pizzas for every cat?"

Dr Tweety: "Iris sez she wantsez pizza fur breakfust too. & my gurlfrend da Mini iz comin' by to haz din-din.

So getses abouts 95 pizzas Poppet."

Delilah: "Well Maxi, that was an excellent plan of yours.
I feel so much better now!"


Maximillian: "Poppet! You are supposed to be on a diet!
And the idea was to help Daddy and Mommy de-stressify, not go into debt over pizza!"

Delilah: "I think I'm going to hang out here on the porch for awhile while the other cats enjoy their pizzas.

My knee surgery has to be rescheduled, but that's OK with me.

I am actually getting around quite well now that I have lost 2 pounds and 2 ounces.

And as far as that credit card bill?
I have a great hiding place—under the poopy box!

Right now we're all just going to keep our paws crossed for a good outcome for Daddy, because his next surgery is October 8th."

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Who picked da cotton-pickin' treez?!

Delilah: "OMB! Some cat is going to really be in trouble!!!

Just look at this mess in the back garden... I don't even want to know what happened, because I won't be able to clean it all up before Mommy and Daddy get back home."

Iris: "Holy buzz saws! Where's the forest?"

Iris: "Mommy and Daddy are going to have triple cows when they see this... and I bet that Maximillian had something to do with it.

He was mumbling last night about how he couldn't see the nip forest through the trees!"

Maximillian: "Snzzzzzzzzzt! Snzzzzzzzooot!"

Auntie Stinkie: "Z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-le."

Dr Tweety: "Itzez allright gurlz.
Da dadee & da momee tooked down da treez 'cuz dey are gonna makes da gardun bigger & better.

Of cousey dats meenz you has to worksez twicey az hard next year!

Missy D, didz you tellz evfurry cat da reely BIG newz????"

Delilah: (muttering: 'At least the porch swing is still here!')

"No Uncle Tweety... I haven't updated the CB yet because Mommy has been out of town for work and also because I've been working on my weight.

I've lost 2 pounds and 2 ounces!!! See how svelte my hips are?

And, my knee surgery is scheduled for September 27th!"

Dr Tweety: "Furry good Missy D! I tinks you gets a egg-straw fishy in your bowl."

Delilah: "I think I should get an extra sardine too! After all, I am on the Catakins diet.

I need to apologize to our friends. We haven't visited the CB in awhile, but Mommy says we'll try.

I just wouldn't hold your breath!"

Dr Tweety: "No poppet... da momee iz notted doin' her part fur our palz. Dey are all so pashunt wit us. Mebbe one of deze dayz dey will gets dis-gutsed & goez away.

What will we doez den?"

Delilah: "We will take over the house! And we will invite every cat over to party!"

Dr Tweety: "Hmmmmm... good ideea. Mebbe we'll start rippin' ups more den da treez!"

Friday, September 3, 2010


Maximillian: "Whaaaaaaaaaat?????!!!!

You gotta be kidding!

How did the doc's blog get turned over to some whippersnapper with MY name????

Are Mommy and Daddy outta their green bean pickin' minds??"

Maximillian: "Hi dere! Aren't I cute?"

"My new Daddy Jeff just 'dopted meez from the Hu-mane Society.

I am furry sociable and adowable."

"My new Daddy gotted some Chi-sneeze foodz and I thoughts I would try 'em. You has to sniffs 'em first before you licks 'em!"

"I think I will also dwink some of my new Daddy's water.

Chi-sneeze food makes meez extra thirsty!"

"Who does this foot belong to?

That is NOT my new Daddy... but his friend, Dr Tweedy's Daddy.

I like him too!"

"In fact, I wuv his foots so much that I will bites them!"

"I am sooo cute that evfurry one will wuv me too.

Maybe even my name-sake Uncle Maximillian at Dr Tweedy's house.

Maxi? Do you wuv me?"

Maximillian: "Whatever floats your boat kiddo... at least I don't have to live with you!"

Celly-bratin life in Orry-gone