Tanks evfurry kitty! Fur makin' da big partee a wild success. We had cats from around da world & we rang in da New Yearz wit da English cats, da Canadian cats, da Aussie cats, da Nova Scotia cats, da German cats, da Japanese cats, & all time zonez in da
US of A. Whew!
I yam a itty-bitty hung-overz! "Uh, eggz? I don't tink so momee..."
But look what I justee found under da Burrman'z paw!!!!!
Outpost of the Association of Burmese Security Officers
Memo: Security Breech, Albany, Oregon, USA
From: Maximillian the Burman & Chief Security Officer
To: General Stickupyerbuti, Command Post, Burma
Dear General,
The situation here is intolerable. Please note the following security risks:- A 65 pound (I say 65, as 30 pounds were already consumed!) ham is missing. I suspect that one M****s M*****R(edited for security reasons) is the culprit. His brother may also be involved in this covert operation.
- There are duck carcasses everywhere! The land fill is closed today for the holiday, and the stench is becoming a health hazard.
- An antique Tiffany lamp was either stolen outright, or some bad cat (H***Y H*****N, again, edited for security) broke it and did not fess up. I suggest that the insurance company may not reimburse the approximate $20,000 unless we get a confession. Which method do you advise?
- There is a mountain of poop behind the Chinese screen. I am shocked by the absence of scoopers. What were they thinking? Again, I am disturbed by the health hazard this poses. How far will these party animals go?
- The British contingent, helped themselves to the 50 year-old bourbon! The momee here is going to have an apoplectic fit when she finds out. Can we replace this with something from India? While I realize it may not have the same kick, it will at least be the same color, and she may not notice for awhile.
- When many cats went tree climbing (INSIDE the house I might add), the glitter balls were scattered far and wide. Even the senior cats, the 16 year-olds that should be more dignified, were involved in this activity. I need a glitter clean-up crew pronto! Glitter is a nasty substance, particularly between the toes.
- The bathtub is full of rubber toys. A violation of the worst sort.
- The ceiling (the CEILING!) has paw prints on it! Skid marks of duck grease are apparent on the walls. I have no idea how to remove duck grease from the walls without removing paint.
- There were strange cats hanging about all night, typing furiously into their laptops. I tried capturing their posts via wireless router, but my motherboard fried in attempt to keep pace with their chat room antics. Please General, I need a replacement.
I assume you will want names, ages, addresses & email. I will phone tonight when all are asleep.
This is it, over and out, Maximillian reporting for the Burma Security Forces.
Well gang, I tink we're safe fur awhile!!!! Da Burr-man is sound asleep, & I yam gonna light a New Years Day fire with this report.
Party On!!!!!!!!
Dis iz moi, of course....& I yam a doctor (honorarry sez da dadee) & my LOVE iz Mini of da Hottiez.
Den dere iz my brudder, da mad bad Burr-man, & he LOVEZ da Kellie da Orange Cat.
Den dere iz Auntie Stinkie... & she iz a senior city-Zen...so da dadee sez she iz beyond a man-cat, but I don'ts know dat I agreez wit dat. I say dat LOVE can happen at any age. No matterz what. (& she iz singull.)
Den dere iz da preshus Lady Iris. She iz singull too. All da boyz admire her greatly. She iz da Dyanah of hunteressez. She evfun caughts a woodpecker lastee year. Da momee & da dadee let it free & it waz unharmed, but da Lady Iris iz furry determined. If you likes her, you better be ready for a kitty wit atty-tude!
