Well.. it's finally happened

Az evvydanced by da pic beelow, I waz doin' nuttin' but hangin' out & waitin' fur da next phone call from da Mini... when all of a sudden, I gets a blinkie message frum da Mad Burr-man.

He iz sailin' out from Burma. Becuz of da bad tie-foon, he iz transportin' certain large amounts (Umm, dat iz abouts 850 tonzez) of herbz in balez on a furry large freighter. If he leftee it in Myanapour, it would turn into milldewzez.

What I can't figurez out iz how he iz gonna gets dat ting pastee da customz offysir. Mebbe he haz da Burmeze connexshun?

While dis may seem excessive in timez of need, we cats do needz da nip... so I guesse we shouldz be tankfull to Maximillian. (But howcome he haz hiz pic on da side of da boat??? Izn't dat goin' a itty bitty bit too far?)

Why doezn't evfuury cats come oevfur & takes home a itty bitty bit? I'll see if I can gets da cafe' opened up fur awhile.

Wahoo! Nipporama herez we come!

Fry Fry Fry day

Okeedokee. It iz Fry day & I yam fryin.' It iz almostee a hundrud dugreezez here in Orygone & we catz are hidin' in da housee wit momee.

She iz a itty bitty bettur, cuz of all dats purrin' you haz been doin' fur her. She sez dat mebbe tomorrow or Sun-day, we canz go vizit!!!!! Hooray!!! Hurrah!!! Huzzah!!!!

Here iz moi doin' da only reazonabull ting to do in dis weather:

Tanks you evfurry cat!!! I can'ts wait to get back to a itty-bitty bit of bloggin.'

Oh... & inz da meanwhile... dat green weddin dats da beanz went to before da momee got hurted??? If you wants, you can goez & vizit here http://drtzbeanfolks.blogspot.com/
& seez da pix.

Da momee iz hurted & laid up

I iz so sad. Afturr da weddin', da momeez backee got hurted again & now she cannots sit at da comphooter. She iz on some mean meddy-sin dats makes her sleepy & she cannots sit upright fur furry long.

I cannots vizit, I cannots blog, I justee has to wait fur her to gets better. But I lovez you & I lovez her, & I yam gonna sits here & takes care of her so dats we can gets back.

It's a BIG happenin'

We iz egg-cited to announce da BIG pree-mare of da new pro-duck-shun.

I yam gonna offer some speshul gourmaid fare at da Itty Bitty Cafe' on Sun-day night. Den da cats dats wants to eats while dey enjoy da show haz a place to go.

Da momee & da dadee are goin' to a weddin' on Sat-turday... so we cannot watch wit our frendz. BUT... we will be dere in spirit.

Da momeez favorite gurl couzin'z daughter dat iz da same age az da momeez here boy bean (Yikes!), iz gettin' married up on top of a mountain. Dey iz hazzin' a green weddin' wit gifts made to charitee instead of to da bride & groom. Momee iz egg-cited, 'cuz she lovez her "Fernie" furry much.

So we will seez you all den... Oh Mini??? Iz dat you honey??? I haz a speshul mousie pie dats I yam gonna bake fur when you comez oevfur to watch da show.( Smoochie, kissie, kissie!)0

Uh-oh!!! Some cats haz been caught!

Uh-parently, some cats haz been caught doin' bad tingz. & it haz been recordud on cameruh by Karl & Ruis of da Cat Realm!!!!!!! Deze cats were re-her-sin da new "Missin' Mummy Caper" by Sassy Cat when dey decidud to go holy hawg wild... kinda like da beanz verzhun of "Gurlz gone wild!"

So now, in a kinda weerd wren-dish-hen of da D.C. Madam, Karl iz gonna sellz off deze black-market photoz fur da good cauze of 'Cat Frendz Helpin' Frendz.'

Karl iz gonna dough-nut-ate 100 purr-scent of all da proceedz minus da Pay-Pal feez to da cauze. I suggestee dats you go & takes a look & gets dis egg-sclusive set of pix.

Justee tink... it will be like subscribin' to da "National Cat-choirer" & I knowz dat dis iz your furry flavorite super-scooper market chex-out item!

NOW: Fur da egg-citin' part... da new show will be airrin' dis week on Satur-day & Sun-day, at Sassy'z, on May 10th & 11th... whooopee! Let's haz a pree-mare & takes some good eats frum da Itty Bitty Cafe' & haz a wild good time.

photo courtesy of SASSY Cat.

I yam in a pick-cull

I needz to a-pollygize to my frendz. Da momee haz left fur a con-furrence fur three whole dayz!!! We will nots be backs to bloggin' until Wednezday.

BUT.. I haz some eggcitin' newz to share.
I gots cast in da Sassy Cat's new CCSI III seerial: Da Missin' Mummy Caper!
... I gets to playz a Dr!!!!

Here iz da oh-ficcial badge:

And here iz da cast & crew. You are bound to seez some old frendz & probabully some new onez.

(photo 1 by Sassy Cat: l-r: Maya, Tamra Maew, Jessica, Palbo, Mr. Hendrix, Marilyn Monreow, Charlotte, Miss Peach, Roxy, Orlando Bun, & Cameron
Foreground l-r: Eric & Merlin)

(Photo 2 by Sassy Cat: l-r: Dr. Tweety, Beau, Rocky, Brainball, Mickey, Scylla, Derby, Sassy, Airel, Tyler & Zippy)

CCSI III: MISSING MUMMY CAPER CAST

Detective Bucky Bun: DK

Detective Harry Moe: Mickey

Papa Adam Ball: Mr. Hendrix

Mama Patti Ball: Marilyn Monroew

Cleoctra Ball: Charlotte

Tonto Ball: Pablo

Mika Ball: Eric

Rudy Ball: Merlin

Ling Ling: Jessica

Mr. Doogle: The Devil Dog-Roxy

Peachy Pitt: Miss Peach

Catherine Pitt: Ariel

Uncle Bill: Cameron

Paramedic #1: Tyler

Paramedic #2: Derby

Nurse #1: Tamra Maew

Nurse #2: Zippy

Dr. Kieran: Dr. Tweety

Policeman #1: Rocky

Policeman #2: Maya

Townsfolk:

Scylla

Beau

Sassy (From Taylor Catsssss)

Brainball

Izn't dis great???? We iz lookin' forward to da rehearsallz & denz we will find out where da mummy went!!!!

(Hmmm... I tinks I knowz: She wents to a con-furrence!)

It's heeere!!!! Happy Sweet Sixteen Auntie Stinkie!!!

We lovez you all fur stoppin' in!!!! Da cats are sleepin' it off now.. but we'll be chexin in tommorow.

But, before we go:
Knocky knocky, who iz dere?
Who?
Derierre!
(:)

Happy Sweet Sixteen!!!!


Dr Tweety: "It iz ackshoely here! Da Auntie Stinkie turnz Sweet Sixteen to-day!!! We iz so egg-cited & dere iz lots goin' on, 'cuz we iz gonna haz a nip partee fur all our frendz.

Dere iz many birf-dayz to celly-brate, includin' Gretchen (she iz turnin' four & hazzin' a HUGE tea partee), Tiger Lilly iz two! & her itty-bitty brudder Ruckus iz one, (& dere dadee iz turnin' a sqwillion az well!) & I tink Gandalf & Grayson are turnin' four & fivez!!! Phew!

Now in honor of Auntie Stinkie, da Fab Five haz cooked up a nip partee. Da onlee probplumb iz gettin' da nip connexshun. Uh, Maximillian??? Since you haz been in Burma lately, can you helps us out on dis?"

Maximillian: "Okay Doctor, I'll try. I know this is a very special day for Auntie Stinkie. If it was for your birthday, I might have a different tact. But since the beautiful Kellie will attend, I can think of nothing better than locating the approximately 59,000 tons of catnip that I know mommy and daddy planted while I was in Burma earning kibbles."

Auntie Stinkie: " Oh this is very silly! The rest of the Fab Five have told me that for my Sweet 16, that mommy and daddy grew an inordinate amount of catnip. I decided to go outside and sniff around in the newly tilled garden to 'look' for it. You know that I am totally blind, so I am really 'sniffing' for it."

"Hmmmm, smells suspiciously like nip to me!"

Delilah: " Oh Auntie Stinkie!!! I think I found something over here by the garlic!"

"Is this it?"

"Uncle Tweety? Do you think this is the nip that mommy and daddy planted?"

Dr Tweety: " I hardlee tinks so Delilah. Dis looks more likes sage to me."

Iris: " I think I've found it! It was between the lupine and the Black Eyed Susan!!"

Delilah: "I am going to take a little rest and dream about the party and Angus Mhor wearing a top hat!"

Iris: " Look every cat! I think I finally spotted it!"

Delilah: " Oh Iris! My sweet sissie, I don't think that it is nip. I believe mommy and daddy planted it over here in the shade garden."

Auntie Stinkie: " Isn't this supposed to be my party? I can't believe these whippersnappers have misplaced the nip!"

Dr Tweety: " Iris!!! Is that it? Oh MY GAWD! Haz we reely lostee da nip fur da partee??? What iz we gonna do??? All da catz of da Bloggospear iz gonna showz upee & we iz gonna haz nuttin'!"

Daddy: "Ummm, Fab Five, is this it? I don't know an herb from a Herb."

Auntie Stinkie: " Bouncie??? Is that you sweetie? Oh please rescue me from these inept creatures! I just wanted to have a quiet Sweet Sixteen, but now Dr Tweety and Maximillian have gone completely nuts.

It is the senior cats that have developed a sense of Godliness. We know things that the youngsters do not. (Like where I stashed the nip!)"

(I love you sweet Bouncie!)

It's almost here!

I yam plum tuckered! Dere haz been so muuch goin' on & da momee iz worn to a frazzull. We iz gonna be a itty bitty slow wit da bloggin' dis week... & we has to restee up, cuz a furry speshull day iz arrivun.

Da Auntie Stinkie iz gonna be Sweet 16!!!
Her birf-day iz May 1st.

I hear dat it iz Gretchen'z birf-day too. Gretchen iz havin' a BIG tea party & you will ALL has to go vizit her fur sure.

We iz gonna lay low, & den mebbe haz a quiet birf-day... but I yam sure dat all da senior cats will vizit Auntie Stinkie & dey will haz a digneefired time.

Maximillian's Burmese Journal revealed

Journal of Burmese Security Council Officer, Maximillian Rangoon Ashley MacGregor, on recent activities related to General Ang Grrrr’s Office:

April 1, 2008

Arrived in Burma via private cargo plane. Food depressing and dismal. No shrimp, no tuna, only squid and rice. I guess I should have been a little nicer to Dr Tweety. Maybe he would have packed a cooler full of tuna steaks. At least I have Kellie’s latest scented love note tucked into my rucksack. This is going to be a tough trip.

April 10, 2008

I hear from Mommy that the weather is foul and gloomy. Nothing but rain, rain, rain in Oregon. She should be happy that she doesn’t have to sleep in a fur coat while suffering 98% humidity and 96 degree heat. Today will be very trying. I have a long meeting with General Ang Grrr, and am expected to provide sensitive security information regarding the presidential candidates in both of our countries. The General was quite surprised to learn that a cat is running for president in the states. I have never seen him meowless before.

April 14, 2008

Well, tomorrow is Dr Tweety’s birthday. Apparently there will be a large party at our house with all of the cats from the Blogosphere showing up in near riot numbers. This concerns me since I am so far away from home and cannot supervise. The last time there was a party while I was absent, the house was a complete shambles and cats were sleeping everywhere including the counters, the beds, the sofa, the table, the chairs and even in the tub. Unacceptable behavior! I must get a telegram to Dr Tweety immediately.

April 17, 2008

Today is Delilah’s birthday, and all my fears have come to pass. The Fab Five are running amok. Delilah is up on the roof, and Dr Tweety is making a mess in mommy’s kitchen by converting it into his Itty Bitty Café. General Ang Grrr has told me that if I do not find a constructive way to handle my stress level, he will tell the chief medical officer to prescribe a sedative! I have sent Kellie my love another telegram. I hope that she will wait for me. This separation at times is unbearable.

April 23, 2008

I am going home! General Ang Grrr has granted me leave… he calls it a “mental health holiday.” I must pack a suitcase immediately since the flight leaves in less than three hours.

I want to bring back some spices for mommy, but I bet you cilantro to curry that Dr Tweety will appropriate them for his café. I am going to attempt civility when I arrive, because I really have missed everyone so much. Work is tough on a man cat. Sometimes I think about retirement, but right now, it is not possible. The General has conscripted me to a four-year service agreement with the CIA. I am caught in the middle of two worlds. At least I have mommy and daddy and Kellie to make it bearable. Oregon, here I come!

Maximillian iz baaaaack!

Well, we gots a tellygram lastee night dat my brudder da mad bad Burr-man waz on hiz way home from Burma. Da gurlz all wanted to waits on da front porch fur him, so I went along to watchez out fur dem. (You can see dat I yam hopelessly egg-sited about da prospect of hiz homecomin.')

Dr Tweety: "Forgeddaboutit Iris... I yam not gettin' up!"

Delilah: "Oh look! I think I see his ship in the harbor!"

"Mommy!!! Mommy!! It's Maximillian... he's home from Burma!"

Maximillian: "Yes, it is I. I am finally back in one piece after a particularly harrowing journey. I must dust myself off, and unpack. After all, the beautiful Kellie will be anxiously waiting to hear from me."

Dr Tweety: " You big lummox! You missed da openin' of da Itty Bitty Cafe'!"

Maximillian: "Tweet! Just stop the egotistical nonsense right here! I don't want to hear about the Itty Bitty Cafe' this and the Itty Bitty Cafe' that. So what if all the cats of the Blogosphere showed up? I'm pooped and grumpus and in need of a bath."

Maximillian: "Oh hi daddy! It sure is good to see you. Are you thinking about what things to plant in the garden this year? You should have see the gardens in Burma! They had statues and everything."

Dr Tweety: "Oh sure, try & gets on da dadeez good side da minuet you're back!"

Delilah: "Look Maximillian!!! Kellie sent you roses!"

Maximillian: "I really need to have a nap. The exhaustion of 4 time zones, dreams of Kellie, and the fragrant flowers have overwhelmed my senses."

Dr Tweety: "Y'know dont you, dat now we goez back to da same old grind? Growl & hiss, hiss & growl, wit da occashunall whap & miss. Mebbe we justee oughtta all try to gets along here."

Word-less wonder... yikes!

Adding a word: Da momee tinks dis iz a Photoshop gag.

What in crime-ninniez sake were dey tinkin'?

Fait accomp(hic!)li

Tanks to all da cats of da Bloggo-spear dat madez da Grand Openin' of da Itty Bitty Cafe' a huge suxsess! Here iz moi in da aftermath. I yam afreared I cannots move.

Here iz da moral of da storee... if you haz one too many tripull niptiniz, you justee stayz where you layz.

&, you may evfun deevellup a nuke-clee-error kind of glow.

Iris? Quit purrin' so loud will ya?

It iz bestee to cling to da arm of da chair & do nots move a singull muskull.

Of coursee, when da urge to run to da litter box iz stronger den da head-rake, your sissie can be counted on to get you movin' wit a good whap!

Come on in.. I yam open fur bizzy-ness!

I hope evfurry cat iz comfy & haz found a place to sit. It iz a itty bitty crowdud in here, but dat iz understandabull... it iz after all, da Itty Bitty Cafe'. (You can see da oevfur all deezine if youse scrollz down to da nextee post)

I baked some nip cookiez in da shapes of D-A-W-Gz. Deze are LOADED wit nip... so goez EZ on 'em if you wants to get back home to your housee & not get busted!

Miss Peach suggested dats I do some venison steaks wit nip fur my frendz wit allergeez... Okeedokee! I whipped some up. Dere iz no shortage of vishus vegan deerzez in dis neck of da woodz.

Den fur my meezer palzez, espeshully Milez & Sammy & Chey, I haz roasted a 76 pound ham. Mebbe dere will be a itty bitty bit left oevfur fur da rest of us, but I wouldn't count on it.

Az alwayz, I yam pourin' triple niptiniz. Now listen up you youngsterz under da age of two: You will nots be allowed in da bar witout snoopervision. So don't evfun tink abouts sneakin' in!

I hopes you all haz a terrific time. I tink we deservez it after da lastee couple of weeks.