Friday, April 25, 2008

Maximillian's Burmese Journal revealed

Journal of Burmese Security Council Officer, Maximillian Rangoon Ashley MacGregor, on recent activities related to General Ang Grrrr’s Office:

April 1, 2008

Arrived in Burma via private cargo plane. Food depressing and dismal. No shrimp, no tuna, only squid and rice. I guess I should have been a little nicer to Dr Tweety. Maybe he would have packed a cooler full of tuna steaks. At least I have Kellie’s latest scented love note tucked into my rucksack. This is going to be a tough trip.

April 10, 2008

I hear from Mommy that the weather is foul and gloomy. Nothing but rain, rain, rain in Oregon. She should be happy that she doesn’t have to sleep in a fur coat while suffering 98% humidity and 96 degree heat. Today will be very trying. I have a long meeting with General Ang Grrr, and am expected to provide sensitive security information regarding the presidential candidates in both of our countries. The General was quite surprised to learn that a cat is running for president in the states. I have never seen him meowless before.

April 14, 2008

Well, tomorrow is Dr Tweety’s birthday. Apparently there will be a large party at our house with all of the cats from the Blogosphere showing up in near riot numbers. This concerns me since I am so far away from home and cannot supervise. The last time there was a party while I was absent, the house was a complete shambles and cats were sleeping everywhere including the counters, the beds, the sofa, the table, the chairs and even in the tub. Unacceptable behavior! I must get a telegram to Dr Tweety immediately.

April 17, 2008

Today is Delilah’s birthday, and all my fears have come to pass. The Fab Five are running amok. Delilah is up on the roof, and Dr Tweety is making a mess in mommy’s kitchen by converting it into his Itty Bitty Café. General Ang Grrr has told me that if I do not find a constructive way to handle my stress level, he will tell the chief medical officer to prescribe a sedative! I have sent Kellie my love another telegram. I hope that she will wait for me. This separation at times is unbearable.

April 23, 2008

I am going home! General Ang Grrr has granted me leave… he calls it a “mental health holiday.” I must pack a suitcase immediately since the flight leaves in less than three hours.

I want to bring back some spices for mommy, but I bet you cilantro to curry that Dr Tweety will appropriate them for his café. I am going to attempt civility when I arrive, because I really have missed everyone so much. Work is tough on a man cat. Sometimes I think about retirement, but right now, it is not possible. The General has conscripted me to a four-year service agreement with the CIA. I am caught in the middle of two worlds. At least I have mommy and daddy and Kellie to make it bearable. Oregon, here I come!


Sunny's Mommy said...

I am so glad the Gen. granted you mental health holiday. They were falling apart and wild cats without you!

Daisy said...

Such foreign intrigue!

Jans Funny Farm said...

A mental health holiday sounds like a good idea. Too much heat and humidity in a fur coat can cause hallucinations, among other problems.

Dr. T and the Fab 5 have been well-behaved while you have been gone. Who has been sending you these wild rumors? If you tell us, we'll sic Buddy on him/her/it.

Unknown said...

My Dear Maximillian,
I read your journal with awe. You are in the midst of such important work. I am so proud of you, having such an important job and all.

I have missed you so much and am very relieved that you are now home on a mental health leave. Teleporting between BC and Oregon is ever so simple. We will be able to have lunch of dinner at least every second day, how exciting!

Please come for dinner on Saturday night, I promise to cook some wonderful tuna and shrimp and maybe we can have a niptini.

See you soon.


Forty Paws said...

Goodness. What a traumatic adventure you had while in Burma! Good thing you got to come home.

Luf, Us

Gemini and Ichiro said...

I think my human always needs a mental health holiday..

Chrissie said...

Dear Mr. Burr Mann,

I don't know anything about that strange cat that was hanging around the corner of your house during the party..I know noth-thing!

Goldie, Shade and Banshee said...

What an adventure! I don't know how you do it all, I am amazed.

Have fun getting everything back in line at home.


Parker said...

I am glad that you were granted a holiday. It sounds like you were needed back in the states!

Tesla and Hansel said...

Mental health holiday? We should get one every month- saz mommeh.

Angel MoMo and Charlotte said...

My! I am sooo impressed, Maximillian! Mental health holiday??? Umm, I think my SS needs one - she is a mental case, if ever there were one!

Dr Tweety and the other kitties have been very well behaved during your absence. I vouch for my friends!!! Hey, Dr T, you can always count on me!

Karen Jo said...

I am glad to see you back, Maximillian. You had quite a trip. A mental health holiday sounds like a great idea. You have such important mancat work to do.

Robyn and The (Mostly) Badass Cat said...

Dr T, siblings are weird. Maybe we're even weird when we're siblings. But what I really want is a snuggle and a shrimpie puff. Want to come over this afternoon?
da Mini

Anonymous said...

"Wow" Maximillian what an exciting trip and great photos :)

Mr. Hendrix said...

I'm so glad you're getting a holiday. You've been thru so much. I'm sure Kellie can't wait for your visit.
You're doing such important work! You rest up now. We're glad you're back!

Tybalt said...

Wow! Reading Max's journal is like reading a kitty adventure novel! I am very impressed. Kellie must be proud!

Celly-bratin life in Orry-gone