EEEEEK!!! A monster!!!!!

Dis iz da Hall-o-ween franken-Max
Here iz hiz scary poem (which I penned fur him)

Hallo-ween-Max

I am da monster known az Franken-Max,
I likes to come in & eat my mouse-ee snax,
If you gotz to go tick or treatz,
Ya better bring me back sumpin’ to eatz!

I am da ghostee of cat-world Hall-o-ween,
Hide yur lizard heartz & your quiverin’ spleenz,
My appetite fur meat knowz no boundz,
If yur a wimp, better stay offa my ground!

I am da monster known az Franken-Max,
I likes to scare lil’ kittenz wit my teef of wax,
If you go out in the dark this night,
Ya better pre-pare fur da most awful of frights!!!

Teazin’ Tuez-day

I yam still bein’ a good boy. Even da bad Burr-man waz good! We just sat on da couch & waited fur da momee to come home from da Auntie Cue show & sent buckets o’ L-O-V-E to Miss Peach. Ok, I ex-agger-ated a little…we did go check out da new bed in momee & dadeez room… more on dat later.



Tomorrow I will try to post a pic of what da mommie brought home from da Auntie Cue. Hint: more catz!!!! Ok, dey iz not real catz, which iz a furry good ting fur da momee! I tink da Burr-man & I would have to lift da tailz around da house a few timez if da beanz brought any more catz home.



Dadee waz a furry good cat-sitter. He fed us our flavo-rite Fancy Feast Medley (tuna of course) & bought us a new nip mouse-ee. He let me & da mad Burr-man in & out & in & out & in & out of da house all weekend, 25 timez a day. He let us scratchee on da brand NEW mattress! Although, when he saw us hangin’ out in da bed-room, eyen’ da new sky-bed, we got to go out of da house again.



Da momee haz told me dat she iz so bizzy at work dat it will be difficult to do da blog dis week. But she promised me dat we will vizit our frendz in da cat blogo-spear. I should hope so! Dis work ting iz really gettin’ in da way of my creative nature. Ptooey! A double hairball on da work ting!

Fried Fry-day

I yam feelin’ blue today. Da momee iz gone again wit her suitcase ting, headed to da Portland Auntie Cue expo-position. She iz gone until Sun-day! Of course, I cannot do da blog wit out her comp-hooter.

At least da dadee haz da brainz not to go to dis expo-ting. I wonder why da Auntie Cue iz so important dat da momee has to leave us catz??? She sez it’s because it’s in her blood. ? How did da Auntie Cue get into momeez blood?

I also feel blue ‘cuz our frend Miss Peach is not feelin’ well. We all lovez da Miss Peach ‘cuz she waz one of da furry firstee frendz we made on da blog. We just ask all our other frendz to go to Miss Peache’z today & vizit her & send her momee love & hugz & Tonz o’ purrz.

Da mad Burr-man & I are gonna sit right here on da couch togedder & not even fight, until momee comez home & Miss Peach getz better!

Thurz-day Thirteen

In da blog today, I will share 13 tingz about Auntie Stinkie & her break-fatz time.

In da pix, you can see how she haz taken over my lastest issue of Saveur! Itz all about turkeyz & da other stuff we eatz in November. Dis iz difficult fur me to admit, but even at 15, da Auntie Stinkie iz truly da Alpha Cat of our house-hold.

Okeedokee. Here iz da 13 tingz she doez at her break-fatz time:

1) She sits on da kitchen table & waits fur momee to finish da dressin’ fur work routine.

2) When da momee comez out to da kitsch-hen, Auntie Stinkie sez “Waaah! Waaah!”

3) Dis iz repeated repeated-lee, in stac-cat-o cadence.

4) When da momee reaches into da fridge, “Waah! Waah!”

5) When da momee cracks open da eggz, “Waah! Waah!”

6) When da momee flipz da eggz, “Waah! Waah!”

7) Az da momee blots da olive oilz from da eggz, you guessed it “Waah! Waah!”

8) What da Auntie Stinkie iz telling momee iz: “Hurry up! You iz takin too long! Hurry up! I want my eggz!”

9) Den da momee sprinklez a tiny bit of salt on da eggz, but not too much, ‘cuz dis iz not good fur Auntie Stinkie or fur da momee’z blood pressuring.

10) Den da momee sits wit Auntie Stinkie at da table.

11) Den Auntie Stinkie reaches out her tiny paw & swipes it at da momee.

12) Da momee must eat her part of da eggz fast, ‘cuz Auntie Stinkie will start to stick her nozie into da plate. Auntie Stinkie only likes eggz wit yolkz dat are “eazy.”

13) Den da plate wit da eazy yolk iz all Auntie Stinkie’z. Hoo-boy, doez dat Auntie Stinkie have da momee dis-a-plined!

Worldess Wednesday- Pix da momee takez on her commute route

Tuez-day Toez-day

Here iz my brudder, da mad Burr-man Maxi, enjoying hiz toezez.

If he tinks dat doze toezez qwalify fur a Tuez-day blog, I tink he iz much mistaken.

If he had shown hiz BIG toe, da one wit about TWENTY GIANT toezez on da one foot, den I would say he qwalified. But here, he looks so sweet & in-oh-cent, you would never believe how he really treatz me. But I have decided to give him an extra chance…just in case he ever decidez to be a nice brudder instead of a mad-bad one.

Manly pumpkin day

I can’t belleve it! Momee brought dis big pump-da-kin ting home from a local farmer & said she wanted my pic next to it. I yam obliged to do deze photo shootz wit no renumerationz (& dat includez ZERO Greeniez!) I will tell you right now, dat pump-da-kin iz no kin of mine! Do not ex-pect moi to carve dis ting! I hear dey are somewhat slymee and squiggly inside.

When momee first reskewed me, she thought I waz a gurl! (Brainball, are you listenin’?) & so, she named me “Pumpkin.” Hmmph. Doez I look like a pump-da-kin to you?

I tink I have had enough of dis nonsense & will retreat to a more welcoming envy-ron-mint, like da sofa. I will be much more manly on da sofa, dreamin’ about da beauty-full Mini.

You can see I yam more delicious den choco cake!

If you wish to see dat purty Miss Mini dat I yam dancin' wit in da video below, go vizit her at da House of da (mostly) Black Cats.

I yam pooped & vicy-toria-poos! What a time! What a whirly-wind of a date. Da tuna pie dat momee fixed waz de-vine... or iz dat de-veined? No, I tink dat iz fur shrimp.

Dr Tweety & da Mini go Whoo-hoo on der firstee date!

Frazzled Fry-day

I yam tryin' to be more generous to da mad Burr-man Maxi. Look how tired he iz from patrollin' da neigh-bore-hood last night.

He waz soakin' wet from da rain & so waz I! When we came inside, momee dried us off wit da towelz. We didn't even swipe at each otherz cuz we waz so glad to be dry. Oh we waz pitifulz! (wink wink)

Da moral of da story? Run around in da rain & momee will feel sorry fur you!

Stormy Thurz-day

Itz a furry cold & grey day in da Orey-gun Willamette Valley & so we are all hidin' out inside while da momee iz at work.

Iris decided she would medy-tater on spiderz in da webz. I figgure dat iz almost az good az Daisy & her gatorz & lizardz. Spiderz can be furry vishus too, specially da BIG onez dat come down & eat da kibblez. Dey prac-ti-cally eat your teef!

Iris likez to eat deze tingz. I just leave der GIANT corpses fur momee when she gets home from work. Momee? Are you dere? Lookee what I got fur you!!!!

Word-less Wednez-day: Auntie Stinkie Still-life by Renoir

Tuez-day uze your toez day

I yam groomin’ myself to-day, ‘cuz it iz raining dawgz here & dey are BIG dawgz….at least da size of eleph-antz. Momee finally re-lented & let me in when da Miss Marianne waz vizitin’. If da mad Burr-man can be in, den I should be let in too!

But look at da gunk stuck to my furz. What iz dat? I tink I sat on a spider! (Or did it sit down beside me?) & Right in da middle of me compozin’ a love song!

I yam gonna put da finishing touchez on da furz. Dey must be nice & floofy before I askz a new frend out fur tuna. (Ahem, Mini, are you lookin’?)


Now dat I got dat ugly ting off, I tink I will play da piano on momeez pants & da furry nice sofa throw. Oh- I lovez to play da piano. An itty-bitty ode to da nice & full-figgured Mini!

Manly Meezer Mon-day!

I yam givin’ dis here blog to my brudder, da mad Burr-man. Maximillian iz furry manly in hiz meezer suit. He doez not talk to da blog so I haz to inter-pret hiz high-pitched meowzingz. Hmmmmph. What iz hiz problem any wayz? He got all ex-cited when he saw da momeez frend from Switzerland, da beauty-full Miss Marianne. He walked right up to her when she gotz out of da car & helped sniff her baggagez clean. Den he escorted her into da house like a real man oughtta, wit hiz tail straight up & hiz baggy pantz quite floofy. He iz sooo charmin’ to da ladiez, dat Maxi.

Dadee sayz he used to be momeez “man” before dadee came along. But you should be aware dat Maxi haz a terry-bull habit of liftin’ hiz tail on da ladeez pursez when dey are not watching. (& he iz always harrasin’ yourz truly!) Do not lovez hiz hand-some manly-ness too much!

So da first ting Miss Marianne doez when she iz inside da door iz open up a BIG packagez fur da five catz & inside iz a 12-pack of yellow & orange & blue & red & magenta colored ballz wit ringey-dingiez inside of ‘em! Delilah started chasin ‘em all around da room ‘cuz she could not decide which colorz she liked best. Oh we just lovez da Miss Marianne!!! She iz sooo much fun & she loves us all. She even brought her homemade fig & pear & walnut bread. I did not tell her I yam not fond of figz!!!!

Fuzzy Fry-day

Man o' man-o! I yam so glad it iz Fry-day. Momee will now quit scrubbin' da floorz & runnin' around wit da broom & dustin' da counterz & cleanin' up da pee-wee on da stairz. Her bestee frend Miss Marianne from Switz-her-land iz comin' today... & Miss Marianne lovez us kitteez furry much. SO I don't quite getz it why momee cleanz up all da furz & pee-wee. Izn't dat apart of us? & den I got kickeed out of da house wit da Bad Bur-man so we cannot pee-wee before Miss Marianne getz here!!! How am I suppozed to do dis blog if I yam lookin' in da sliding glass window from da other side?????

Sheesh! & look at da pic! I yam on da table while Momee iz snuggling wit Iris, & da mad Burr-man & I are waiting fur our kibblez. Dis iz goin' too far. I yam startin' a generul strike. No more pozin' fur pix unless momee lets me in fur da day! & I yam not promisin' to be in a good mood.

Wordless Wednezday: It's Delilah & how she openz da drawer & shame-less-lee begz fur Greenies!

Tuez-day, mini-malizt Tuez-day

I yam going to kick back & enjoy dis day...even though momee iz grumpee. She doez not like da over-cats foggy-nez.

She tinks we all ought to be cruisin' down a tropy-cal river where der are plenty o' sun rayz & nice cool waterz.

Personally, I do not care fur boatz or tropical placez. I do not care dat it iz foggy. I sleep much better in dis kind of weather...seee? & dis way, I an ignore momee if she screechez about sumpin' dat da OTHER catz iz doin. Becuz I yam an angel. (Wink, wink!)

Monday mad-ness

Ok.. I yam mad!!! Momee did not help me wit da postee ting dis week-end. Instead, she cut dadeez fur, she moved furniture around, she cleaned up kittee barf & pee-wee, she went to do da Costco ting, she washed da cloze, she cooked da break-fazt, & den she started building a cloze rakoon to put der summer cloze away on, & den she shopped some more, & den she read some Joyce Carol Oatz short storrez & den she played wit Delilah & den she washed her fur & den FINALLY, she thought about me & fixed da roastie wild salmon. Sheesh! No wonder my eyez are flamin'!

Frazzled Friday

Hoo-boy! Look at dat guilty look on da Iris! What iz she up to? & look at dat messy chair she iz in. What iz up?

Oh-NO!!! What iz dat mess? Did our sweet little Iris do dat? (You bet she did!!)

Now she is lookin over what she did. Pillowz on da floor, chair cover on da floor, & you know da reazon fur all dis? Do you see da boogie mat in da corner? Dat ting haz da NIP in it!!! I tink Iris needz to go to rehab fur awhile. She iz crazee on dat stuff. Of courze, I would NEVER do dese kindz of tingz myself!

We finally got da Blogger to co-oper-ate. Tanks fur leavin' us notes fur en-courage-mintz. We like courage mintz...dey is furry good.

Thurzday Thirteen

Here iz me movin' furry fast past momeez coffee cup. I almozt got it!!! Dis iz a little bit like da high diverz in da Olympix but I yam faster!!!

I will tell you 13 tingz about my life at da fur ranch wit da other kittiez & momee & dadee on da week-endz when we iz all home togedder:

1) Rain makez me wacky & nervous & I refuse to stay out in it. Soooo:
2) I scratcheez at da BACK door until momee letz me out & den two minutes later:
3) I scratcheez at da FRONT door fur dadee to let me in & den:
4) I scratcheez at da BACK door fur momee to let me out & den(you can see where dis iz goin'!)
5) I decidez I wantz to lift my tail where da mad Burr-man lifted hiz & den:
6) Momee screechez like da Hall-o-ween banshee & putz me out da FRONT door & den:
7) Dadee letz me in 'cuz he feelz sorry fur me 'cuz of da rain & den:
8) I lifts my tail near dadeez elextronix & he saquawkz 'Noooooooooh- oh noooooo!"
9) By dis time I yam ex-hausted by all dis jim-naststix & I sleepz on da kitchen table fur a bit, showing my wonderful floofiness and den later:
10) I sit in dadeez spot on da sofa when he getz up to get hiz coffee & he haz to sit on da floor instead & den:
11) I go downstairz to da garage & do some more dutiez & den:
12) I come upstairz & do some modeling fur da momee & den:
13) It iz raining again! So I scratcheez at da BACK door to go out!

Wordless Wednezday

Desktop meme

Hoo-boy Henry. Don't know if we can get through all the techie instructionz, but we'll try to do most of dis meme.
Da pic iz da desktop at momeez work comp-hooter. Look what a mess! She iz workin' on multipe projex.... but da pic iz momeez & dadeez garden. Kinda at itz wacka-doo momentz. But it makez her feel better when da outsidez iz gloomy & gray.
We tag:
Bounce, Lucy & Trixie
Chairman Mao
Kellie da Orange Cat
Flock o' Fuzzies
The Meezers

Here iz da deal:

Upon receiving this tag, immediately perform a screen capture of your desktop.It is best that no icons be deleted before the screen capture so as to add to the element of fun. Here’s how you can do a screen capture:

1.Go to your desktop and press the Print Scrn key (located on the right side of the F12 key).

2.Open a graphics program (like Picture Manager, Paint, or Photoshop) and doing a Paste (CTRL + V). If you wish, you can “edit” the image before saving it.

3.Post the picture on your blog. You can also give a short explanation on the look of your desktop if you want. You can explain why you prefer such a look or why it is full of icons. Things like that.

4.Tag five of your friends and ask them to give you a Free View of their desktops as well.

Now da last part escapez my momeez capa-billiez, so here it iz frum Henry:

5. Add your name to the list of Free Viewers with a link pointing directly to your Desktop Free View post to promote it to succeeding participants. Others who have played:Francine of La Place de Cherie Chez Francine Bloggishi Unchained Melody LadyJava’s Lounge Mariuca Revellian Dot ComDesktop Emila’s Illustrated Blog Spiff, The Spaceman Rolando Brown Baron The Kat House MAX Mother's Home! I Was Born2Cree8 Skittles' Place Faz the Cat Sweet Ariel
Henry & Clyde

Tuesday rude Tuesday

Now, I yam goin' to put dis post out der fur da other catz to judge. Iz der other kittiez dat da beanz iz annoyin' beyond belief? Like, wakin' you up in da middle of a nap to get your pic? Jiminy Christamaz! Just look at what da momee did to me:See da pic? I yam loungin' on da couch after reading da latest issue of "Saveur," da magazine fur gourmands, & dreamin' about salmonz in da oven....& purrfectly content WHEN:
momee stix da toy in my face!
So den I have to play in da middle of my nap!
Just look at dat ting! Iz dis rude or what?



Finally, she givez up & goez away to take pix of Iris.. so I am smilin' at last & back to my dreamin' of da recipes in da mag. Aaaaaaah.

Sunday sublime

Dis is da Auntie Stinkie. When momee or dadee comez home in da evening, Auntie will run out & meet dem & den climb in da little car & go fur a ride up the driveway. She tinks it iz funny to park herself in front of da car & force dem to open up da door so she can come inside. But she iz bad doin' dis, cuz she will rippee up da up-holstery in da back seat if dey are not watchin.' (Dis is almost as bad as Henry Helton rippeein' up hiz lady's couch!)

Do you see dat rippee in Auntie Stinkie's ear? She got dis when she waz a itty-bitty fur ball, dat iz what dadee sez. Dis is when she waz da neigh-bore's cat instead of ourz. I tink dey had a yappee weener dawg dat went nutz. Dat iz one reason Auntie Stinkie moved in here. She HATEZ da weener dawgz!

Freaky Friday

!!!!! what iz dis???? It lookz like a lizard... not a cat! & certainly not one of da five catz here. I yam confuzed. Momee said dere would be a Friday pic, but dis iz just not right.

Daisy, Henry, every-buddy, could you pleaze come get dis ting & let it know dat dis iz a CAT blog?!!!!!

Thurzday thirteen

I yam going to delegate dis one to my frend Delilah. Dat pic of her iz frum when she first came to live here & she waz just dat itty-bitty girl dat I would growl at. But now she iz my best frend. Delilah? Come take dis here blog & do da 13 tingz you like about dis place.

Ok Dr Tweeety, I will do my furry bestest: "13 tingz about me growin' up"

1) I waz only seven weeks old when I moved here, & I like to sit in da middle of da kitchen floor so dat da beanz would have to alwayz be on guard to not sqwash me. Dey waz always reminded each other to watch fur me & pesterin' each other, "Watch out fur da kittie!".

2) I get to eat Greenies fur catz. Dis is my special treat. Only Auntie Stinkie, Maxi & I will eat dem. Dr Tweety does not like Greenies. Dis gets me extra portions, which may be why my belly is bigger den his.

3) When I was five months old, I dis-appeared for one whole night! Momee & dadee were desperate to find me. Dey search-lighted da entire neighborhood wit lightz & went door-to-door. No one had seen me. Dey looked in ditches up & down da country roads, & called & called my name. Dey stayed up until 3 a.m. & den went to bed wit nightmarez. In da morning, dey sat on da couch satrin' inot emptee space, & dadee had wet eyez & momee had wet eyez & dey were sick. Just before dey had to go to work I came back!! To dis day, dey do not know where I waz. But I never did dat again!

4) When I was six months old, I got da "fe-male" surgery at da Dr. But I got furry sick & momee waz cryin.' She thought maybe dey had killed me instead of makin' me fixed! But I got better.

5) When I got my next set of shots, momee figurred out dat it waz da shotz makin' me so sick. She will not let da vet give me any more shots. I tink I am allergic.

6) When I waz itty-bitty, I started to play da rat game wit momee. I would crawl under da throw on da big wing chair & den look out at momee from a tiny flap. She would scream dat she saw a rat & den I would bite her! If she said my name, I would growl, because it waz not me, it waz a rat!!! I still do dis, & sometimez I gets under da coverz in da bed.

7) Da first night I waz wit momee & dadee, I jumped up & down & up & down 5 million timez on dere bed. Den dey locked me out of da bedroom!!!!

8) Momee uzed to put da cover over da garbage disposal, so I would not fall in!

9) After I spent da night missin', momee & dadee would search everyting in da house if I wasn't right dere when dey wanted me. Dey would search da clothes dryer, da oven & even da closet. Why would I be in da oven? Silly momee & dadee!

10) I like to play in da closet wit my sissie Iris. We hide & pull down momeez clothes. She does not tink dis iz a funny ting fur us to do. But we like it!

11) I am furry respectful of my elderz. Auntie Stinkie taught me dis. She used to box my earz & hissie at me if I tried to jump on her tail. Now she kisses my earz instead. I love my Auntie Stinkie furry much.

12) I do like to hide & jump on da Auntie though, ezpecially when she iz usin' da litter box! Dat iz when she makes a BIG stinkie!

13) Dr Tweety taught me to help momee get ready fur work in da morning. I sit on da counter & help her comb her fur & put dee eye-shadow on. Den she puts da eyeshadow on me & sez I yam most beautiful. She puts da eye shadow on my fore-head. Is dis really where it is supposed to go, or are her eyez not workin' too well?

Ok, tanks Delilah, fur helpin' out on da Thurzday 13.

Wordless Wednesday

Kissin' frendz iz fun

Before I start on dis here blog, I have to say dat somethin' haz gone cuckoo wit Blogger. It iz cuttin & slicin my pix up in itty-bitty slices & I can't fix it. If you click on a slice, den you can see da pic.

In da mean time, I waz postin a pic of me kissin' da beeootifull Iris. Oooo-lal-lah! She smells so sweet... like mice feet & birdie fezzers, & da big outdoors. BUT- da BLOGGER said I could not 'cuz of a air-air!! Can you beleeve it????? Blogger woke up- so now you can see da kissin' goin' on at our house. Well, kind of...Iris is furry shy, so she waz hidin her face!

In da meantime, we invites you to come & sit on da porch wit us. It iz furry safe where we livez cuz it iz on a dead-end, culled-de- sack & no traffic comez at all.

Da first day of da Fall

Da girlz are hangin' out wit dadee, readin' on da porch. Dis iz furry good fur da mental health & I would record-mend dis pre-script-shun fur anyone who iz feelin' over worked & underpaid... are you listenin' momee?

Dadee iz da smart one of da fambly... he doez not worry so much, like da grey-furred-on-da-head- momee. He doez not color hiz fur 'cuz he doez not worry like she doez. Momee colorz da head-fur 'cuz she iz tryin' to stop da old-age, but I do not tink dis workz so well... every-one knowz she doez.

I tink dis iz a good pic 'cuz da two girlz on da couch have white facez & white pawz...dey could be twinz ex-cept dat Iris iz a calico & Delialh iz da grey & white gurl. But dey are like sisterz. Auntie Stinkie iz restin on da balance beam before she startz her exer-size.

See dat old folkz couch on da porch? Momee bought dat just fur da catz fur 25 green backs, but she did not ori-gummy dem like Daisy's mom did.

Well, we will see our frendz in a couple of dayz, if da momee can quit pluckin out da hairz frum her head. I yam beginning to tink work iz fur da birdz.... or mebbe fur lizardz.

Slithery Saturday

Here I yam a bit stunned by my own prowess

Now what do I do dat I have dis-abled da ting?

I tink I should gaze into its beady eyez fur awhile & not listen to momee sqwawkin. She soundz a bit screechy like a parrot. I
yam not im-pressed by parrotz.




Dis iz NOT a rubber snake. Rubber snakez do not rear up der headz & look back at me.



I did it! I caught a snakey ting. It iz a bit hissy, but I brought it into momee & I called fur her to come & see dis new toy. But she screeched a little bit owly-like & told me to git dat ting out-side where it be-longed. So, I take it back out just to save my earz from momeez piercing voice-noizez. But I yam posing wit my new pet fur Daisy & to imp-ress da rest of my cat frendz. Delilah? Are you here to see?

See da BIG GIANT BOA CONSTRICTOR????

Come look at deze pix honey-bunz... I tink dis iz da start of da new MEAN me!

Da def movez of Auntie Stinkie

Auntie Stinkie on da balance beam

Auntie Stinkie givez dose toezez & sharpiez da once over



I yam going to show a "Freaky Friday" pix of Auntie Stinkie. She iz on da porch rail & she iz balancing da beam while groomin' her toezez. Dis iz furry impressive fur a 15 yearz cat & I yam furry proud of her bein' a Jim Nast. I thought dat mebbe da toe a-fishy-no-doze would appreciate theze beautiful toezez. Clyde? Are you seein' deze?



Now Auntie Stinkie doez not get her sharpeez clipped like da other girlz & boyz of da house. Dis is so 'cuz she iz old & grumpy when dadee touches her sharpiez. So, dey getz to stay on.



Please ex-salmon da pix furry carefully. I tink you will see dat der iz no special E-fext & dat da photo shop waz closed.



Please join me in tagging all da catz to participate in da Freaky Friday photo & double treatz if you show your toez while doin' it! We givez direct tagz to Henry Helton, Da Meezerz, Daisy & da Pixie, & HOT(m)BC. Pleaze pass dis along, cuz momee haz not learned da lablel or da window linkie ting yet.