Tux-ee Tuez-day

Well, I yam gonna feeture Delilah to-day, justee to makes Angus happy. Angus postied some purrty ris-kay pix a cupple of dayz ago & dis had da Delilah a itty-bitty feverish, but I tink she iz recovered.

"Delilah? Here kitty kitty! Looks nice fur da Angus now...let him see how sweet & purrty you are."

"Yikes honey! Slowz down a itty-bitty bit. You don'ts want Angus tinkin' dat you iz starved fur treats do you?"

"Dere, dat iz better sweet-heart. Look at doze purrty owl eyez."

"Delilah? While you're pozin' by da treats drawer, do you justee wanna counts up da Greeniez fur me? I waz snoopin' aroundz earlier to see ifs I needed to go shoppin' fur da Cafe'."

Delilah: "Sheesh! Who does my Uncle Tweety think he is? The boss of me?"

Tweet: "Well act-shoely Delilah, I yam da boss."

Delilah: "As the saying goes, 'Let them go forth deluded.'"

Tweet: "What?? I nevfur heardz dat sayin' beforez. Who said dat?!"

Delilah: "I did!"

Itty Bitty Café update: News flashee, dis justee in!

Miss Peach & da Daizy haz offered to helps fund da Café. Miss Peach sez dat if Chey iz elected prezzy-dent, den Miss Peachy will be in charge of da Fed, & she will makes ze-row interest loanz to cats! & Daizy iz sellin’ lemo-nade fur $38.00 a glassee, & she will splitz da prophets wit me… so go buyz your lemonade now!!!! Hooray Café, here we comez.

Sun-day award fur us

We gots dis grrreat award frum da totally hip Miss Ariel, Chairman Mao's purrty gurl cat. She waz howlin' on THurz-day to gets her momeez attenshun, but I don't tink it worked evfun though we couldz see her tonsilz. So now she iz gonna givez a BIG cons-hurt where evfurry cat can hear her. She iz furry tally-tented & we should all support her in her artistic strugglez.

We iz gonna givez dis awardee to our pal Boy, whoze itty-bitty brudder drivez him ups a tree, & to Henry Helton. Henry'z recent story about's hiz momeez kitty dat came before made all da cats cry. We needz some new snot ragz. I better go see if da momee haz finished wit washin' up da lin-nun.

"Momee...didz you finish dat laun-dree yet? We cats needz some warm towelzez."

LOAN UPDATE:
Well, if da Itty-Bitty Cafe' iz to gets off da ground sometime in da next cent-jury, we iz gonna needz a merry-cull! Da dadee iz nots signin' off on no "#!!@&*+=?#$! shyster loan!"

Don'ts quote me...dat iz what da dadee said, nots me.
I will has to come up wit a new plan. I will keeps you all posted on da prog-grass. After all, we cats need a place to eats out too.

Stinkie & da Itty-Bitty Cafe & Credit Cardz Gone Bad

Here iz a nice pic dat da momee took recently of Auntie Stinkie. Bouncie thought dat he should take Auntie Stinkie on a walk through the rozie gardunz & den dey can comez & haz a tasty tea wit me in my “Itty-Bitty Cafe'.” (Right now dis iz in da momeez kitsch-hen, but not fur long.)

See? Da Auntie Stinkie iz tinkin' abouts what I should make fur her & her sweetie Mr Bounce. He iz such a gentleman cat, dat she iz ovefur joyed! & Both of der birfdayz are comin' up. (I will makes an announcemint later next week....)

I yam tinkin’ abouts makin’ dem some shrimp puff pastereez, some tuna mini (Oh Mini???Are you listenin’ sweetie???) pee-sawz wit anchoveez, & mebbe some mackerel macaroni. Auntie Stinkie lovez noodullz almostee az much az she likes her fishy & chix-hen.


Since I yam plannin’ on getting’ my new Itty Bitty CafÈ open wit a loan from da Bank of Cat-a-fornia, I have been bizzy writin’ a bizzyness plan.


Michico & Adan suggested dat da mad bad Burr-man & I couldz be good business cats. I tinks dey iz right. So after we gets outta trou-bull wit Daisy & Chey’s bogus credit card billz we canz open up da cafÈ.


(By da way, Chey…didz you hear dat da Maxi boughts a tug-boat to haul da freighter full of nip into da Vancouver Harbour? & well, he uzed YOUR card number fur dat portion of dis spectack-you-lar present to da Miss Kellie. I would take dis up wit da Maxi, since he iz more of a crimmy-nul cat den I like to admits. He may be related to da Sopranoze.)


Delilah said she wouldz help in da cafÈ by servin’ our patronz (I can gets her to work reel cheep!) & Iris iz gonna be da hostess. So keeps your pawz crossied dat da loan goez through.

Da bank of Cat-a-fornia givez cats pre-furred percent-age rates (97%!) on der loanz fur a turd of a squillion. Dat may be a tad bit high fur some…but da dadee lovez me, so he might co-sign if I asks him nicely.

“Dadee??? Are youz around? Canz we have a talkee?”

"Boys, you have phone calls!"

"Doctor Tweety! Look, you have a phone call. Is it Mini?"

"Uh momee. You puts dem on hold. I do nots tink dat waz da Mini. I did nots hear dem cleerly, but I tink dey were speakin' Burmese."

Oh fur crime-ninniez sakee! Now dey are tryin' on da cell. Iz dere no restee here fur me?

I yam beginnin to tinks dat my brudder da mad bad-Burr-man ordered some nip offa da internet uzin' Daisy da Curly Cat's credit card! Mebbe dat iz why her bill waz so eye-ball poppin.'

Or mebbe dis iz da telly-marketerz from Burma, da nip growin' cappy-tull of da world.

"Maximillian???? Wakee uppee dude! I tink dis iz fur you. It's da Burmeze 'Nip Society, & dey wants to know if dey should ship all 567 tonz of nip to one Miss Kellie da Orange Cat in British Collumbee-ah."

"Hullo? Yes, this is Maximillian. Uh, yes, I did order one freighter to be delivered to the Vancouver Port. Is there anything wrong? Uh... please repeat. Oh my, you say that the credit card was denied?"

"Mommy? Could you please get your wallet out?"

Didz I hear dat right??? He ordered an entire FREIGHTER?

OMG... dis iz it. Da jig iz up. Let's me outta dis housee right now! Mini sweetie???? I am on da way!

Wordly-more Wed-nez-day

I gots lots to say here, 'cuz da momee braxe ALL her promisez to me.

Now...lets get sumpin' straights. I lovez my frendz. Da cats dat livez in dis house lovez dere boy frendz & gurl frendz... & it iz not fair fur da momee to work so hard dat we cannot complete our bloggie & vizit our frendz. Dis iz DIS-grace-full!!!

"Momee??? Do you hearz me???? You are lettin' evfurry cat down."

So here iz da plan. I yam gonna has to bite her butt. & mebbe peez on her pillow. Yes, I yam really a bad cat. 'Say lah vee,' az da beanz are so fond of sayin.'

Here are some pix dat da momee toox oevfur da weekend...at leastee she had da presince of mind to do dat!"

Uh-oh. Iz dis a fresh tay-bull clothee? Dat iz not a good sign of tingz to come.

Da momee haz been cleanin housee instead of lettin' me bloggie! I hope she doezn't expect me to clean. I yam not gonna hu-more her on dis score.

"Delilah! You better listen up! Da momee iz on da war path wit da housee! I suggest dat you hide, & mebbe get in your rat cave."

"Tell you whats. You go dat way & I will go dis way & dat way, we canz avoydz her all-together. And-alay! And-alay!"

Da moral of da Wed-nez-day storee? Get in yer spot & dont's move or else gets da heck outta Dodge! If momeez are H-bent on cleanin' housee, do what da dadee doez & leavez!!!!

"Dadee!!! Waits fur me. I yam right bee-hind you."

Bee-hind in all da memez & awardz & Momo too!

Now here iz sumpin' dat boggullz da mind. Becuz da momee iz too bizzy to helps me wit da blog, I didz not evfun know dat my good frend da Momo waz gravelee ill wit poyzen! Momo, I hopes you can fur-givez me. I lovez you. & I only foundz out two-day cuz I waz gonna finally catchez up on da vary-us awardz & memez dat kitteez had passed on to me. Doez I look madz enuff in da pic below? I sure hopes so.

Here iz da wun-derfull award dat da Momo passed on to us. Here iz what she said:

I would like to pass it on to the generous and humourous Dr Tweety who has been feeding the whole Cat Blogosphere yummilicious chix-hens for the whole of Easter and even before.
Tanks you Momo!! So we iz gonna pass dis alongz to Tigger da FBI Cat, 'cuz Tigger cre-ates all da wunder-full scrappy-book pagez & makes us all looks furry deelishus.

Den our frendz fromz across da Big Pond, Eric & Flynn, & den Boy da Genius Cat, tagged us fur da "Makes a Wishee" meme. & here iz what's your suppozed to do:

1. Think about what it is that you want more than anything, what your heart's desire and fondest wish is, and what it is that you would wish for if you were to see the wishing star flame across the night sky.

2. Right click and SAVE the blank graphic below. (Well, I messied uppee & forgots to load da blank giffafic...so it iz at da TOP of my bloggie!!!)

3. Use a graphics program of your choice and place your wish on this picture:

4. Post the Make A Wish Meme and your wishing star on your blog along with these rules.

5. Tag as many people as you like so that there can be wishing stars all across the Blogosphere and ask them to please link back to Linda so that we can see what wishes others have made and share those wishes with others.

So we iz gonna tagz Felineosopher.

Den...The Crew & Skeeter, LC & Ayla, tagged me fur da Mid-dull name award. Here iz how dis one works:

1. You have to post the rules before you give your answers. 2. You must list one fact about yourself beginning with each letter of your middle name. (If you don't have a middle name, use your maiden name or your mother's maiden name). 3. At the end of your blog post, you need to tag one person (or blogger of another species) for each letter of your middle name. (Be sure to leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged.)

Yikes! Okeedokee. My full name iz Tweety Bird Ashley MacGregor...so I tinks dat makes Bird my mid-dull name.

B: I yam bull headed...'cuz I doez whats I want & when I wants to dooz it.
I: Intelly-gent. Well, dis iz what da dadee sez...'cuz he told me I waz a doctor. To beez a doctor you has to be smart.
R: Really furry. Dat iz me.
D: Delighted...to be bloggin' wit all my frendz!!!

So..now we gots four cats to tag. I tag Pixel
& Louche Tabby
& Maximillianz gurl cat Kellie
& Moki!

Now.. I tink I gots all da bee-hind stuff...but if I forgots some buddy, pleeze for-give me.

Da momee sez we will go vizitin' later dis weekend. So gets ready!!! I yam gonna bringz a chix-hen leg to evfurry cat dat likes dem & fur doze dat wonts eat da meats, I will bring a pouch of nip.

Frazzulled Fry-day

I don'ts know egg-zactlee why, but I feelz reel crabby today, & yam in no mood fur pix.

"Momee? Gets dat flashy box outta here!"

I justee wants to nap & forgets all about dis long week of removin' dread-lox. Ptooey!

But before I goez, I needz to lets you all know dat I yam WAY bee-hind in my awardz & memez. And, VIZITIN' my frendzez.

So, da momee PROMISEZ ("Momee??? Are you listenin' upee?") to lets me do deze dis week-end & I gets to go vizitin. Hmmmphs. I will beleevz dat when I seez it!

Uh oh! It's dread-lox time

Evfurry Spring, us long haired floofy catz (espeshully Persian types) can gets dread-lox. Dis iz cuz we iz sheddin' likes mad & cuz da rain gets in dere & da spit gets in dere & den it all mats upee. & I don't likes to be groomed exceptee fur da top of my head...so I makes da momee & da dadee puts off da process. You can see what went on at our housee on Sunday!

It looks like da jig iz up cuz somebuddy gots dis new Zoom Groom ting. "Momee?"

Well, it's not too bad I guessee. It kind of scritchez nicely.

Yikes! "Dadee, watch dat...you justee abouts pulled my earzez right off my head!!! Doez you wants an earless cat?"

Delilah joins in: "Uh...is it my turn yet???"

"Fur crime-ninnyz sake dadee! Can'tcha slow dat ting down???"

Nuttin I say makes any imp-presshun on dadee today. He iz on a blind mission to de-hareify me!

Since I yam a doctor, I will triez to be clinny-cull abouts dis. See da dread-lox? It iz stuck to my thigh. I haz anudder one on da other side. But to gets dem offee, da dadee haz to uze da fur scissorz. Da fur scissorz makes it so dat da dadee wont's cut my skin. If he did, I would has to whap him good.

Dis dread-lox iz huge. So I yam gonna be a messee fur awhile.

Delilah again: "Can I help Uncle Dr Tweety? Uh, your fur is falling out! Better do something quick!"

"Delilah...justee back off you itty-bitty poppet! Can'ts you see I yam in a bit of a pre-dickymint?"

Delilah: "Well now that it is all over with, let me bitey those implements of torture for you Uncle!"

Delilah: "See how I take care of you Uncle Dr Tweety?"

"Oh sure Delilah. Did you SEE da BIG GINORMOUS holezez in my furz???"

Da moral of da story to you Persianz: Don'ts let da beanz see your dread-lox. Mine were doin' justee fine before any buddy dis-covered dem.

Man-cat Mon-day: Maxi'z monkey pawz

My brudder da mad bad-Burr-man Maximillian haz toezez likes a monkey. Justee looks at doze tingz! I tink he feelz he will impress da Kellie if he cleanz dem up real good.

Da Maxi has to haz a extry long tongue in order to wash doze toezez properly.

Dis iz so dats da tongue can reach all doze crev-assez in between & also to gets all da (don't squeee!) toe jamz out.

After he iz all through, he turnz on hiz back & takes a nap.

I haz nevfur been too sure abouts dis entire process, but I guessee he haz lived like dis fur most of hiz almost nine yearz. I has to say dat I yam glad I doez not haz toe jamz... I only has to worry abouts dread-lox.

You are all invited to a pre-Easter dinner!

Yum, nom, scarf, burp!

Evfurry cat iz invited to stop by dis week-end fur da BIG chix-hen egg-stravaganza & feed. I iz gonna be in da kisch-hen cookin' up some stuffee fur Easter, so any cat dat iz not celly-bratin' all day tomorrow, or wants to pop-oevfur fur a second or third dinner can!

My ad-vice iz "DON"T BE SHY," justee comez on in & grab a leg or thigh, or mebbe 29 piecez, & we will eats until we can'ts eat any more & justee layz abouts on da floor.
Happy Easter Evfurry buddy!

New award fur cats

I haz invented a new award fur my frendz in da Bloggo-spear. It iz called da 2008 Big Kahuna Award. & it iz to honor doze cats dat has not only a deep intellygence but also egg-zippits a BIG amount of Grace by helpin' otherz.

I yam awardin' dis new award to da Mom Robyn at Hot(m)BC cuz she haz helped me & so many other kitteez in da Bloggo-Spear.

She haz kept us all in fine shape & madez tingz so much better fur so many cats wit her great reports & newz & fundraizerz & links to important eevents. (Of course she hadz da help of da Hottiez, but we won'ts menshun dat right now!)

I hopes dat my other frendz on da blog roll will gets dis award soon... espeshully our sweethearts. I bet it won't take too long until it goez all da way around da Bloggo-spear. It's gonna be funz to watchee.

Bathin' fur Bounce

Lookee here. I haz not been abull to haz a bloggie ALL week, cuz da other cats haz taken oevfur. & Today iz no different. Da Auntie Stinkie said it waz her right az a senior cat to haz her day too.
She decidud to takes a bath to get ready to haz tea wit Bounce, Miss Peachy, & Prinnie.

"Hello everyone! I cannot wait for my friends to stop by. We are going to have tea on the sunny front porch. But first, I must clean my paws,

and then I must clean my nose,

and then I must sample the shrimp puffs, hmmmm, a little less flour and more shrimp Dr Tweety!

And now I must look especially beautiful for Bounce!"

Wordless Wednezday: Iris

(PSssst: Dis iz Dr Tweety on da side. Da Iris iz singull!!)

Tuxie trub-bull Tuez-day

Look out evfurry cat, Delilah iz on a Tuez-day trub-bull day. Can you see dat look in her eyez? She iz starin' at dat mousie likes she wishez it waz real.

I bet dat Angus haz no idea dat da Delilah iz az fiesty az dis. Look at her whap dat mousie to bits!

Den she gots sick of da D-I-E-t kibbullz, so she sneex in to da treats drawer. Hmmm, iz she gonna haz Greeniez or iz she gonna haz da Temptashunz? Guessez any cat?

Den da momee puts a clean tay-bull cloth on da tay-bull & da Delilah promptly puts her bun-zez on da tay-bull & den she pretendz dat she can't see dat da momee iz standin' rights dere!

Den da Delilah goez fur a roll oevfur on da tay-bull. Right, can you beleevz dis? & I helped to raize dis kitten?

"Delilah! Here kitty kitty! What iz you doin??? You iz gonna pullz dat tay-bull clothee right off."

OMG! What iz goin' on around here? I tink da mad Bad-Bur-man mustee be right. Tingz iz outta control. Who iz in charge any-wayz?

"Stinkie??? Auntie Stinkie??? What doez you haz to say???"